Braywatch

White sands, coconut palms, glittering water - all components of the perfect beach. These romantic notions are probably why the nomination of Brayruit's shore as Dublin's best has met, let's just say, some antagonistic responses. But the naysayers can it a "tough sell" all they want, Bray beach is the biz and here’s why.

Served by the DART and Dublin bus, it’s a hassle-free hop from city centre but it’s also far away enough to make it seem like a proper day out. The beach itself is just under a mile long and is probably the only shore on our list that is suitable for people who don't like sand. It's stony and grey but let’s face it, the appeal of Bray beach has always been more in the kitsch ‘Brighton of Ireland’ end of things. And although the Snake Slide and Waltzers of summer’s past are now long gone, there’s still amusements and diversions to be had.

Starting at the Bray Head end if you make it past the vicious (vicious!) gorse bushes on the way up, you can join the concrete cross on top for what are pretty spectacular views on a clear day. On the way back down, haunt Star Amusements arcade for some air hockey, dance machine and hoop shooting. Or if you’re into proper gambling, the very dark and maze-like room at the back accommodates with endless rows of fruit and slot machines. As a teenage 'House of Dead 2' conqueror I can say with authority that the day can slip away quite quickly in there.

If do you manage to make it back outside before dark, you’re probably going to be hungry by then. Some lovely civilised sit-down cafes and restaurants have sprouted along the promenade, but a day at the seaside should mean fish & chips out of a vinegar-soaked brown bag. Seaside Fast Food operate out of a small window but their fresh cut chips are the best on the beach, you might have to queue on a sunny day but they’re worth the wait. The well-kept grass along the promenade is a good spot to take them. If you’re looking for ice cream or pints afterwards, there’s loads of choice. We favour a pistachio cone from Gelateria and a pint outside The Harbour Bar, but stay away from the aggro swans if you want to escape injury free on the last DART.

Best of Dublin #2

Best Early House

With light beaming in from its open and welcoming doors, Ned’s appears like an oasis on a quiet corner of Townsend Street. Opening at 7am in the morning, it caters for the city’s shift workers, those who need a drink first thing and those who just want to continue the party. A recent visit on Saturday morning saw a mixed crowd mingling amiably as a youngish gang of mates had a bit of a dance in the corner to Rihanna while some fresher faced men, straight from night duty, sank some post-work pints. As the last early house visited on our trail and with some ropey moments behind us, we were happy to find the crowd at Ned’s were friendly and easy going. With a seated smoking area out back, if they got the tap fixed in the Ladies toilets, Ned’s would be pretty perfect.

Ned’s, 44 Townsend Street, Dublin 2, 677 9507

Best Street Performers

You probably wouldn’t recognise these guys if you saw their faces, but you’d definitely recognise their music. Constantly hidden behind a shroud of tourists, Busketeers use a drum kit, acoustic guitar, bass and violin to draw listeners to their temporary turf. It’s a fairly energetic set up. Although all from Poland, the band didn’t form until they were all in Ireland and now play their blend of folk jazz to full crowds on the streets of the city.You’re most likely to see them at prime busker spots like the corner of Crown Alley or on Grafton Street interacting with a gathered mob and when you do, you can pick up their CD for a measly 10 blips. For that you get traditional Polish pieces mixed with Irish trad and Katy Perry covers. Yes, you read right.

www.myspace.com/busketeers

Best Sunday Drive

Giving your road rage a day off is a good idea. If you find yourself automatically despising everyone who drives a Yaris or a Passat, a relaxing scenic drive of a Sunday just might take the edge off things. While the coast road is stunning, it’s also choc full of semi-nude sunbathers once the first sign of sun emerges so for a peaceful escape, a meander up the Dublin mountains is just the ticket. Leaving the M50 at Firhouse, it’s a short jaunt until you’re in full on countryside, meaning fresh air, quiet roads and sunshine (hopefully). Snaking up past the Hell Fire Club, Cruagh Wood and Ticknock to across the featherbeds, there’s opportunities for hiking, mountain biking or for the less energetic, picnics and sight seeing. You even might spot an ice-cream van on the way. Word to the wise; don’t try eating your 99 while steering with your elbows on these twisty roads.

The Dublin Mountains, see dublinmountains.ie

Best Rooftop

Ireland’s a tricky one for rooftops. Since our summers can be all too brief it’s senseless for anyone to invest too much in them making them decent, considering they’ll be defunct 245 days a year (approx). But the smart folk at The Sycamore Club in Temple Bar trump the weather with their remote control roof - in yer face clouds. Under an open roof, thirteen table booths line the circumference, there’s a DJ in the corner and a bar lining one wall. Those who suffer from acrophobia, that’s a fear of heights, need not worry as it’s easy to forget you’re even on a roof - even without a few jars on you. Entrance to this three-storey members club is via a fairly anonymous black door where a red carpeted lift takes you to the top floor. With new developments and a revamp schedule for their second birthday on July 8th, The Sycamore Club will soon be open earlier, five days a week and serving food. Discreet and unique.

The Sycamore Club, 9 Sycamore Street, Temple Bar, Dublin 2, 4743942. sycamoreclub.com

Best Outdoor Yoga

Taking yoga out of the studio and back to nature, Stoneybatter’s Two Palms Yoga takes residence in Phoenix Park every Saturday this summer. Located right beside the Wellington Monument near the Park Gate street entrance, the sight of twenty yogis in sun salutation is a strange one. But when you consider yoga is all about being one with nature, it makes a lot more sense than a mirrored, wooden floored studio. With two other volunteers, Fiona of Two Palms Yoga takes the class through Hatha positions to suit beginners and more experienced practitioners. Fiona says, “It’s accessible to all, I’ve taught all ages from 4 year olds to 60 – 70 year olds. It’s all about the personal experience so you can take it at your own pace.” Best of all, the classes are donation based and all proceeds go to Dublin Simon Community. Get there for 11am with a mat or towel, shades, factor 15 and get bending.

Wellington Monument, Phoenix Park, Dublin 7, twopalmsyoga.com

Best of Dublin #1

Best Place to Dump Someone

It’s always a difficult choice. But when it comes to dumping it’s all about location, location, location. While we’re not claiming to be lothario heartbreakers, we’ve seen enough tears and sad faces to know the St. Stephen’s Green is the hotspot for Dublin dumping and when you stop and think about it; it’s actually the perfect location. Now the flowers are in full bloom, it’s pretty enough to distract from the general despair of the situation. There’s solitary benches aplenty to conduct ‘the talk’ on and while it’s quiet enough to let someone down easy it’s crucially, public enough so your date can’t make too much of a show. And if a moment gets a bit too hairy, there are always people around to divert your attention. Just make sure to pick a spot away from the loved-up and handsy summer couples who litter the lawns. Oh, and one more thing, good luck.

St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2.

Best Place to Rollerblade

With Dún Laoghaire’s east pier coming in a close second, it’s Phoenix Park that prevails as the best spot for rollerblading in Dublin. Knowing how our earnest plans can fall by the wayside, a swift visit to Smyth’s toys for some cheapo blades was made and we took to the paths. Along lengthy avenues paved with smooth tarmac, you can take your practice that bit further up by Farmleigh and falls are cushioned by the grass verges. Not that we fell much... Ahem. It’s the location of choice by the Ride and Roll group who meet here regular to slalom (zigzag) through cones and do all sorts of crazy tricks. While their beginner lessons are out till September, they’re still holding regular meet-ups and rides throughout the summer. If we manage to get the weather, brace yourself for a lot of fun, sore ankles and a lot more respect for your ten year-old self.

Phoenix Park, Dublin 8, rideandroll.eu

Best for Tattoos and Piercings

If you’re getting something painful and permanent done, you want to be hands safer than Gigi Buffon’s. That’s where the hands of the Snakebite staff come in. But don’t let the name put you off. Having undergone several piercings in various shops dotted around Dublin in my ‘radical youth,’ only the piercing from this Middle Abbey Street shop remains. Robert, Erin, Denis and tattoo apprentice Seán make up the current tattoo team, all of which come from fine art background. They’re willing to tattoo anything, no matter how weird, although good luck beating a recent piece by Erin of a Velociraptor dinosaur brandishing a shank. Bizarre but brilliant art, coupled with friendly customer banter, sensitive treatment and fantastic aftercare are all part of the package here. Pictures of their art work are displayed on their Facebook page for the curious and if you have any queries or qualms they’re dealt with efficiently and in good humour on there too.

Snakebite, 54 Middle Abbey St, Dublin 1, 874 0011, snakebite.ie

Best Place to Style Perv

While Dublin street style blogs buzz around the art colleges and the usual clubnights, they can also be found hovering around South William Street where a slighter broader section of society is on show. With outdoor seating a-go-go, you can watch the world and his mother go by from the comfort of a café and behind the safety of sunglasses - a must to hide gawking eyes. We’ve seen all sorts here. From the more daring lamé leggings and string vest combo look, to smart business wear, the South William is a catwalk to it all. Despite the street name coming from the unfortunately named William Williams, who was not particularly known for his flair with a lace collar or glazed linen shirt, the street has thrived. With deadly shops like Harlequin, Retro and Size? just around the corner and the Powerscourt centre smack in the middle, it’s little wonder this spot is poifect for clothes pervin’.

South William Street, Dublin 2

Best Rural Pubs - Dublin

The Blue Light

Ask any biker and they’ll tell you there’s nowt better than tripping out to The Blue Light on a summer’s eve. But you don’t need to be a biker to visit; they’re still a pretty welcoming bunch. Just above Stepaside, hidden up in the mountains, this gem of a bar has one of the best views of Dublin, probably the best if the neighbours would be so kind to chop down their obstructing trees. Regardless, the bar staff are sound, the locals are friendly, the picnic benches are well placed, there’s crisps aplenty, live music and chilled cider. Just add one sunset.

The Blue Light, Barnacullia, Sandyford, Co. Dublin, 2954682

Man O ’War

We only discovered this thatched time warp a few years ago at Sibín festival, which usually kicks off the summer silly season at the beginning of May. That’s pretty late considering the deeds go back 415 years, safe to say there’s been a fair few missed opportunities. Situated just outside Balbriggan, this is a genuine old pub that gimmicky Oirish bars the world over have tried to imitate. It is a bit far out so they organise discounted bus shuttles for groups from far a field, and a local courtesy bus. Also we’ve found the local pool sharks only too happy to challenge you to a game but heed our warning; keep bets minimal, you haven’t a chance of winning.

Man O' War Pub & Restaurant, Courtlough, Balbriggan, Co. Dublin, 841 5528, manowar.ie

McEvoy’s

A pint and a paddle, what more could you want? Just 2km from Celbridge, Kildare types have tried to claim this one as their own, but we’ve been reliably informed from an estate agent that the area is covered under the South Dublin Development Plan. And estate agents never lie. Nestled right up beside the Grand Canal, this is the perfect spot to while away a sunny afternoon. By white-washed walls and well kept flowers you can observe canal activities like boating, fishing and boozing. If you can boat it out - great, but if not the newly expanded Hazelhatch Celbridge train station is your best bet.

McEvoy’s, Hazelhatch, Newcastle, Co. Dublin, 6288283

Dublin's Odd Museums

Ye Olde Hurdy Gurdy Museum of Vintage Radio

Taking its name from the nickname given to Radio Éireann by Seán Lemass, Ye Old Hurdy Gurdy Museum of Vintage Radio has been operating from Howth’s Martello Tower since 2003. With walls lined with posters and advertising signs, and floor space and cabinets crammed with radios and gramophones, curator Pat Herbert has built up quite a collection since he started in 1954. The tower itself has historic ties with the development of the hurdy gurdy, as radio pioneers Lee DeForest and Guglielmo Marconi both experimented from there in 1903 and 1905 respectively. Last Saturday (24th April) saw visitors trek to the tower for International Marconi Day, where the team operated Morse code all over the world to distant Marconi enthusiasts. Herbert tells us, “We’ve received messages from all over – Newfoundland, Russia and European countries.” The most recent item in the exhibit is a record player but the museum is looking forward too. “We cover everything from the wireless to the web; did you look up our website?” Herbert asks. We just might.

Ye Olde Hurdy Gurdy Museum of Vintage Radio, http://ei5em.110mb.com/museum.html. open May to October: 11am-5pm daily, November to April 11am -4pm (weekends only), admission €5


The National Wax Museum Plus

Somewhere out there, a glazed Tellytubby dressed up as Stalin shares a sofa with Hannibal Lecter who is dolled up in a Marylin Monroe wig. This is probably an idealistic scenario for the waxworks and costumes stolen from the original wax museum, but we live in hope. Having reopened last year in a new venue off College Green, the National Wax Museum Plus has replaced and expanded on the missing pieces. It now encompasses a history vault, writers’ rooms, sound studio, film and music legends, chamber of horrors, Irish legends and oh, Mr. Freeze is there too. We’re delighted the robbery didn’t send him to the cooler. Bewildered visitor Oisín O’Brion from Laois gave us his verdict as he was leaving, “It was an unnerving and surreal experience, a very odd mix. They’ll probably have a Jedward statue next.” Again, we live in hope.

The National Wax Museum Plus, 4 Foster Place, Dublin 2. waxmuseumplus.ie. Tel: 671 8373, admission €7 for children, €9 for adults. Students, teenagers & concession €9. Family Ticket: 2 Adults & 2 Children (under 12) €30


The Mobile Phone Museum

This venture received a great reception (wheeey…) when it opened in January this year. From 80s bricks to the iPhone, The Mobile Phone Museum is committed to the preservation of iconic mobiles. Curator Alan Donohue worked in the industry for years before combining private collections for public exhibit - with a little help from eBay. “We’ve got a good few pieces from there too. The most we’ve paid is £600 on the Motorola Dynatac, the world’s first mobile. It’s a big collector’s item”, Donohue explains. But his favourite phone of all time is the Nokia 6310i - “the sturdiest phone ever made, there’s nothing else like it.” The world’s smallest phone, the first Bluetooth, first phone watch and the first to vibrate are all behind glass, but if you ask nicely they might let you take a snap pretending to be Zac Morris or Gordon Gekko - which ever you fancy.

The Mobile Phone Museum, 6-7 Abbey Street, Dublin 2, mobilephonemuseum.ie, Tel: 8728722, free admission


The National Leprechaun Museum

With its 30lb crock of gold and a promise to take visitors to the heart of Irish identity, this Abbey Street venture faces a hard sell. The very mention of a National Leprechaun Museum induces scoffs and sniggers, but then anyone who’s ever been asked about their existence by non-natives can see some reasoning. Hell, why didn’t anyone think of this earlier? Concentrating more on folklore than paddywhackery, the museum combines interactive experience, such as making visitors feel a third of their size in a room of giant furniture, with more a traditional exhibition showing representations of leprechauns in pop culture. Some advice, be careful not to drop your souvenir leprechaun coin in the fare box on Dublin Bus. You will be gutted, and a sympathetic but resigned shrug from a bus driver won’t bring it back.

The National Leprechaun Museum, Abbey Street (Jervis Luas), Dublin 1. leprechaunmuseum.ie, admission €10 for adults, €7 for children/concession. Family Ticket: 2 adults & 2 children) €27. A €10 ticket includes a souvenir leprechaun coin which can be kept or redeemed in the museum shop/café to the value of €3


The Revenue Museum

Everyone has been more interested in the state’s revenue since, well, we ran out, but it’s still pretty hard to get excited about this museum. Opened by then Minister for Finance, Brian Cowen in 2007, The Revenue Museum sells itself as “a graphic and interactive exhibition of Tax and Customs collection, protection and accounting from the distant past to the present.” That makes it sound quite epic. While we admit we couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm to personally road test this museum, we were not helped by the unsociable opening hours Mon-Fri 10am - 4pm. With a lengthy break down of the role of revenue in the foundation of the state and pretty much every thing since, we’re imagining a kind of Reeling in the Years without the emotive music. We asked accountant Aidan Ryan from Tallaght what he thought of the museum, “I actually thought you were having a laugh, a revenue museum? Sounds made up. Never heard of it.” You couldn’t make it up.

The Revenue Museum, Chapel Crypt, Lower Yard, Dublin Castle, Dublin 2. revenue.ie, Tel: 8635 601


St. Michan’s Church

Although it’s not in the title (we’re bending the rules a bit here), the underground burial vaults of this Northside church is a mummy museum. It’s certainly a catchier and more descriptive name. For within the dry crypts of this inconspicuous church lie mummified remains, four of which are fully open for public viewing. By tip-toeing down a narrow stone stairway, you come to limestone tunnel with narrow coffin galleries on either side. In one alcove, casket lids are removed to reveal dried bodies with leathered skin covered in a thick film of dust. The tour guide will tell you the cadaver of ‘the crusader’ is meant to bring luck and to touch his finger, but there doesn’t seem to be anything too lucky about this scenario - considering he’s stuffed in an ill-fitting coffin with people prodding his corpse. Not for the fainted hearted.

St. Michan’s Church, 8 East Church Street, Dublin 3. Tel: 872 4154

Little Shop That Could

Charles Byrne Musik Instrumente has lived inconspicuously on Stephens Street for over a hundred years, but has less German history than the name suggests.

After stretching to press the door bell, we were let in and Charles Byrne himself told us about the beginnings of the shop, "The business started with my grandfather who got it in 1900 for repairing Egan Harps, so my family goes that far back connected with the music world."

Over the years the shop began selling instruments as well as repairing, until someone let fire to the building through the letterbox in 1992. His wife Maria told us, "It was a sad lost. But we were also very lucky. We could've been in the place working."

Geraldine, their daughter, added, "It was an opportunity as well. We had been here one hundred odd years and you do accumulate a lot of junk in that time. Since then there's been a lot of new things, a lot of changes. It rejuvenated the place as well."

Charles said, "After the fire Geraldine said she'd stay with us and help straighten things out. So I grabbed one arm and my wife grabbed the other and we says ‘You're in!’ and we have no regrets. She is excellent.”

You might expect a hundred year old shop to have a sort of dusty charm but Charles Byrne Musik Instrumente also have a website, blog and twitter.

On our visit, Peter Peterson from Washington State visited, “I came here for a low whistle. I've never seen them in a shop before."

But it's not only tourists that visit, Charles says, "I'm seeing grandchildren and great grand children of my first customers coming in so that shows ya I'm getting old. People make a special effort to shop here, that's how we're still in business."

"There's people who trust dad and wont go anywhere else,” beams Geraldine.

As we were leaving, being forced (ok maybe not ‘forced) to take a sweet and a calender, a German tourist inquires about the name, Charles tells her with a wink that he added the name for a laugh with a German supplier.

Patrick Kelleher - Album Review

Setting out to transform an electro-folk album into pure electronica is a brave venture. Particularly when you’re setting out to transform a record as well received as this one. It’s safe to say that Patrick Kelleher’s debut album You Look Cold was enthusiastically praised across the board. His layered approach in combining genres created something quite strange and yet quite beautiful. But less than a year since the original comes the cheekily titled You Look Colder – the remixes. Sequels to greats are often set up to fail but thankfully, You Look Colder is more Godfather II then The Matrix Reloaded. Phew.

Skinny Wolves kick things off with their stab at ‘He has to Sleep Sometime’, which is re-skinned as robotic dance punk you can pogo to. Thread Pulls ‘Finds You’ remix follows, starting out on the minimalistic side of the things only to build momentum with soft then intensified tribal drumming. David Kitt puts on his producing hat for ‘Not Leaving Town’ which at first maintains the haunting tone of the original, before morphing into a lighter, upbeat dance track. The other well-known producer on board is Jape, whose motorik beats establish themselves before relinquishing to an unexpected trance breakdown. Also featuring remixes by Toymonger, Catscars, The Booklovers, Hulk, Fucktotem, Legion of Two and School Tour, You Look Colder varies from mainstream dancey choons to industrial, avant-garde, orchestral, playful and even cinematic tracks.

A diverse experiment that really shouldn’t work but really does, You Look Colder is interesting as a companion piece to the original but can also stand by itself. The brain child of Patrick Henry from Osaka Records, the talents from very different electronic offshoots are pooled together for one mad record. More of this please Dublin.