Dave Clarke - Album Review

Words cannot describe the confusion and horror when the first few bars of Dave Clarke’s album There Was a Girl kicked in. This wasn’t the Baron of Techno, this was the stuff of acoustic nightmares. Er, there’s been a bit of a mix up…

There isn’t much musical crossover between techno Dave and his soft rock alter ego, but it still remains a highly confusing affair – even iTunes has techno Dave’s biography listed under soft rock Dave’s picture. All we know is what we can tell from the album cover; he’s bearded, he likes to wear oversized shades, he likes sitting in cars and, according to Amazon, his album is manufactured on demand using CD-R recordable media. He cuts a mysterious figure.

Opening with the album’s title track, ‘There was a Girl’ eases us in to the lax pace of the record, albeit with eerie howling. From this introduction we learn that soft rock Dave likes to rhyme. A lot. And he showcases his rigid rhyming skills throughout the album, here’s a sample from track two; “running to hide, running to stay alive/running to keep still/running up a hill” and so on and so forth. This is just a tiny taster of what is an entire album of forced nonsensical couplets.

After that one meanders to a silence, a live track begins with a civil crowd clapping for ‘Paintings on the Wall’. If you never thought acoustic could be proper sleazy, think again and listen here; “bang bang/yes I like it/bang bang all the way together”. The monotonous strum of guitar is violated by the filth that comes out of soft Dave’s mouth. This is pretty much as exciting as the album gets. Aside from a country twinge to ‘Wake Up’ and the brief bizarre ’80s synth intros to ‘The Escape’ and ode to sending an email ‘Lonely Days’, There Was a Girl plods along track-to-track with a faint acoustic guitar strumming mindlessly in the background, while soft Dave moans into the mic. It’s all pretty uninspiring.

Admittedly we got off on the wrong foot, so an external examiner listened to soft Dave to give There was a Girl a fair hearing. After a few tracks they turned and said, “This sounds like something Hugh Grant would’ve wrote in that film Music and Lyrics, doesn’t it?” Sums it up really. Stick to the original Dave Clarke is the recommendation.

Urban Picnic - Restaurant Review

Starved workers have long migrated to the various establishments in and around George's Street Arcade for quick lunchtime eats. Certainly at The Dubliner, we've never been shy about our penchant of our weekly pilgrimage for a Sloppy Joe, but there is a new(ish) dog in town.

Urban Picnic resides in the space formerly occupied by The Bagel Bar with a menu that emphasises flavours from the Mediterranean, Asia and the Americas. On our visit, we were greeted by cheery staff and considering the weather (horrid as usual), I ordered soup of the day (tomato and basil) with brown bread (€4.95), while my companion had a roasted vegetable and spinach wrap with pesto mayo (€5.75).

The seating is communal benches, which I'm a fan of but it is an arrangement that can be divisive - a suit at the end of the bench with his newspaper spread out seemed happy with the extra space. The food arrived quickly, the soup was pulpy, the bread was very lightly toasted, the roasted veg were crunchy and the dressing was delish. On our way out, Chef Vinny asked us for honest feedback, we were able to say we'd definitely be back.

Urban Picnic, 30 Market Arcade, South Great Georges Street, Dublin 2

Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Behind The Scenes at the National Leprechaun Museum

Two balding heads peered curiously beneath the shutters which were lowered to half mast, “What’s going here, huh? What are you doing with our building?” The two men, who used to work in the old Fás offices, start to laugh when they are told they are on the site of the National Leprechaun Museum. "No really, it is", a museum employee insisted. "You’re pulling our legs," the civil servants shot back. After some to and fro, the men were finally convinced of the reality and walked away laughing with a promise to return.

Their reactions, while amusing, are not uncommon. It is most peoples’ first response after hearing a leprechaun museum is opening in Dublin, people instinctively question whether it will pander and perpetuate ludicrous assumptions of Ireland. You know those assumptions we assumed had died - until we saw Leap Year and it was confirmed that crazy Oirish characters are alive and well, and still make phone calls from fifties-style telephone booths rather than mobile phones.

In arranging a visit to the museum, the owner Tom O’Rahilly explained the reasoning behind the museum, “Irish culture is famous the world over – even Walt Disney came to Ireland to look for leprechauns. However, not many know the real stories behind the country’s folklore. We want to take visitors to the heart of Irish identity and imagination, telling the amazing tales that make up Celtic culture and offering some surprises and new experiences along the way."

Perhaps sensing our disbelief we were told that Dáithí Ó hÓgáin, Emeritus Professor of the Dept. Folklore at UCD, acted as the leprechaun consultant for the new venture and that the museum is rooted in folklore. The first room is a traditional museum information room and sets leprechauns in context in terms of popular culture. O’Rahilly guided us, “References to leprechauns date from the early texts of the 8th century, right through to Finian’s Rainbow, Darby O’Gill and The Simpsons. This room places leprechauns in early literature and follows them right through to modern times.”

Next up, we were ushered through an Alice in Wonderland-esque tunnel which plays with perception, leaving you a little disorientated. Beginning at the start of the tunnel, visitors appear larger and larger until they reach the end, which incidentally leaves them at the next room – ‘The Giants Causeway’. Beautifully crafted in wood, walking beneath this causeway is bizarre, but not as bizarre as the next room. ‘The Giant’s House’ lets visitors experience what it is like to be a third the size of humans, in a room with giant chairs, a table, cups and a fireplace. It’s pretty strange and again, messes with proportions and perspective.

O’Rahilly talked us through the remaining chapters; the bronze-clad ‘Inside the Fairy Hill’ is particularly interesting. He explained, “The Neolithic sites are very important in the history of mythology, these sites were home to the mythical beings of Ireland. We’re going to take you inside the fairy hill. We’re going to take you inside those sites and what we imagine they were like.”

Concentrating more so on folklore and Irish history, the leprechaun museum aims to use experience and feeling to tell stories - it even boasts an almost touchable 30lb crock of gold. It is unavoidable that The Leprechaun Museum will be sniggered at. But if you manage to get past the preconceptions , you might find a museum rooted in folklore, rather than paddywhackery.

Two pieces of advice for visitors; it’s pretty disorientating so recall that swimming advice and don’t visit until at least one hour after eating. Also don’t drop your souvenir coin in the fare box on Dublin Bus. You will be devastated.

The National Leprechaun Museum is situated right at the Jervis Street Luas stop.

Admission: €10 for adults, €7 for children/concession, family entry (two adults, two children) €27. A €10 ticket includes a souvenir leprechaun coin which can be kept or redeemed in the museum shop/café to the value of €3. See more at: www.leprechaunmuseum.ie

La Caverna - Restaurant Review

From the raving word of mouth recommendations that seem to emanate from La Caverna in Temple Bar, you’d be expecting simple and authentic Italian dishes created with fresh, high-quality ingredients. You might also expect friendly service, some nice décor and a pleasant atmosphere. Expect to have these expectations crushed.

From our arrival we were disappointed. We were hoping to be seated in the wine cellar dining area, the barrel vault from which the name derives, but were shooed into the street level dining area. The waitress absconded before we could inquire about the cellar dining. Seated in a mini booth at a tiny table, we surveyed our surroundings - the menstrual red carpet, uncomfortable pine canteen chairs and generic art work all generated a sense of unease. The ABBA music oozing from hidden speakers added a bit of sparkle to the drab surroundings, but not enough to lift it from depressville.

Left with tatty menus, we surveyed the options. There are apparently specials, but these were not advertised on blackboards and not given by our waitress. No specials or anything special to be found on the menu either – potato skins, chicken wings, garlic mushrooms, burgers, chicken curry, ‘Italian’ omelette all feature, alongside the usual pizza and pasta dishes. It is a menu of overpriced pub grub - €19.95 for battered cod and chips (!). Our soft drink and glass of house white arrived at the table, neither chilled. Not wanting to linger, we decided to just get mains and get out.

My companion had a simple Margheritta [sic] pizza (€9.95), which looked like it was steam rolled out of the oven to our table. Nothing to write home about - although the tomato sauce had an unexpected zing to it, which is good if you like spicy, but not so good if you were expecting a plain ole pizza. I ordered two starters; the large Calarmi rings (€6.95) were over-cooked, rendering them rubbery and served with out-of-the-bottle sweet chilli sauce, which was an odd combination. The Brie Salad (€6.95) involved a giant wedge of brie with a side salad of iceberg lettuce, cucumber, pepper and three olives. The accompanying home-made cranberry sauce was overbearing and completely smothered the over-cooked brie, which managed to have a chewy coating. Truly awful. I had to nick a pizza slice from my companion to rid the taste.

After waiting an age for the bill, we grabbed our scrunched up coats from the side of our chairs (no cloak room and no backs of chairs to hang your on) and made a swift exit. An awful dining experience. Dissmissive staff (although a very smiley Maitre d’/manager), drab surroundings and a menu seemingly thrown together with no pretence of Italian. How places like this thrive and great Italian’s like Café Piedescalso on Thomas Street had to close is beyond me. It you don’t like Italian and want over-priced pub grub, you might enjoy a trip to La Caverna.

La Caverna, 12 Fownes Street, Temple Bar, Dublin 2. 01 6703110, www.lacaverna.info

Boorm Boorm!

The smiliest man we've ever seen on a Harley, Charlie Boorman, will be spinning yarns in Vicar Street on Sunday night. Still some tickets left at time of press... Amanda Kavanagh caught up with him a couple of weeks ago to talk tents, TV and touring

How would you describe the live show?
It's a kind of a Q&A session where I'll be interviewed on a stage full of motorbikes by Billy Ward, who runs biketruck.com. It'll be an opportunity to voice all the things that didn't get included in the TV show or books.

Like what?
More than anything, there's a lot stories and stuff that happened when the camera wasn't quick enough to catch it. Funny things and silly situations you get yourself in and you think, "Oh God, what am I doing here?"

Where is the most exotic place on the tour?
That's a tough one. Maybe Glasgow? That's probably the only exotic place in the UK, aside from Cornwall.

What kind of questions are you asked in the Q&A audience session?
I'm always asked what happened in the tent with Ewan [McGregor]. But you know, what happens in a tent, stays in a tent.

You started your journey to Sydney for By Any Means in Wicklow... Why?
I grew up in Wicklow and it's the place that I learned to ride dirt bikes, up in the Wicklow hills around Annamoe. There was a guy nearby called Tommy and it was because of him that I really got into motorbikes properly. He had a dirt bike when I was a kid and he let me have goes on it. So I've got him to thank for all this! Wicklow has been the starting point for so many adventures. My first was for my father's [John Boorman] film Deliverance and I haven't stopped since. I wanted to start the trip from home, where things really started for me. That was really important.

Where are the best and worst places you've been?
There hasn't really been a worst, although there were some hairy situations. The best was Mongolia on the Long Way Around. It was pretty incredible and it was difficult to get across. The people there were so warm and there you never see any waste, everything is used. They are just lovely people. Papa New Guinea was great too.

The live run is finishing in Dublin, what's next?

Well, probably a big hooley right after and then I'm heading to Jordan for a TV show, which I'm very excited about.

Charley Boorman Live visits Vicar Street, 58 Thomas Street, Dublin 2 on 28th March. Tickets €23. charleyboormanlive.com, vicarstreet.com

Havana - Restaurant Review

When you find a place that serves decent calamari, you’ve found a restaurant you’ll find yourself eventually haunting. After lengthy recovery from a calamari overdose on a seaside holiday last summer, the calamari urge struck again - prompting a visit to Havana on George’s Street, Dublin. With previous positive experience under an expanding belt, my choice had already been decided on the way there. A menu was unnecessary for me, but my companion accepted two from a smiling waitress regardless. The first laminate was an Early Bird menu (available all night Monday – Wednesday) and the second, the All Day menu.

My companion settled on the Chicken Satay with casablanca couscous & satay dip (€9.20) on the Early Bird, and I, while tempted by Lentil & Chorizo Stew (€8.95), was not to be deterred from my mission and ordered Calamares (€7.95). Having brought the car, availing of the €4.75 per glass wine was not an option, and so an apple juice and Fanta (€2.75 each) were both delivered to the table, both with a little too much ice.

Our food arrived after a short wait, the calamari was small but plentiful and coated in a thin crisp of non-puff batter, served on a small green salad. The accompanying coconut and lime sauce was divine and after the tender squid was eaten, I was shamefully to be found eating the sauce straight from the ramekin. My companion was happy with her two small chicken skewers, which were swimming in creamy satay, its partnering couscous was light and fluffy but the mystery dip was questionable. It tasted like a mild Tabasco sauce and for me it clashed with the satay but my companion appreciated it – out of curiosity if nothing else.

After by-passing the dessert menu, we lingered to chat without noticing it was closing time, despite feeling sheepish we noticed a couple on their first date (yes there was a little eavesdropping) also didn’t notice the time. That’s one of the great qualities of Havana, the atmosphere is relaxed and the staff don’t try to hurry you along, even if it is closing time. Although the draw of the 20% off all-night Early Bird is an added incentive to visit Havana, as a casual restaurant that already boasts low prices it’s not a major draw - come for the cocktails and calamari.

Havana Tapas Bar, Georges St., Dublin 2. Tel: 01 400 5990, www.havana.ie

John, Shelly and the Creatures - Album Review

The first thing always noted about John, Shelly and the Creatures is how their track ‘Long May you Reign’ features on the Discover Northern Ireland ads. You know the one. But there’s more to this Belfast band than providing a folksy ambience to a montage of Ferris wheels and rope bridges. A lot more. And the proof is in their debut album Dinosaur.

It opens with ‘Blinded and Cross’ with an intro that manages to be both distorted and melodic. Combining the simplicity of a solo mandolin and both hoarse and harmonious vocals, it’s a good indicator of what to expect from the rest of the album. Dinosaur is a collection of contradictions that on paper might suggest a jarring mess, but in reality flows along effortlessly, irrespective of its varied genres and broad range of instruments.

JSC wear their influences on their sleeves; ‘Sunny Side Street’, ‘Cold War’ and ‘Sight of your Chest’ in particular evoke the haunting strains of Elliott Smith. But it’s not all doom and gloom, standout upbeats include ‘Rust’, ‘Killer’ and of course, ‘Long May you Reign’. Elsewhere, while pop-rock ditty ‘Fools’ is an enjoyable romp, its faux-American accented intro does seem out of place, as does the song as a whole, considering the general tone of the album. Still, eleven out of twelve ain’t bad.

This debut serves to further validate JSC’s place in State’s Faces of 2010, expect to see and hear a lot more from these guys. While Dinosaur probably won’t persuade you to go on a Northern adventure with a man in a hideous pleather tan blazer, it will persuade you that JSC deserve the rising hype.