Ian Brown - Dublin, 24th November 2009

Sipping on the crispest cider we’ve ever had, Connected joined an almost empty venue in the Olympia just as the warm up act took to the stage.

Support came from the sharply dressed Dublin outfit The Chakras, who showcased some raspy indie lifted from their forthcoming album. It was received well enough to pull the masses out of the bar and in front of the stage. Result. Throughout the set, the theatrical front man gained confidence as the band finished up with their album title track ‘Build me a Swan’.

After a quick stage shuffle, the lights dimmed and the crowd started chanting in anticipation. Iannoooo! Ianonooo! Iannooo! Iannooo! After a short while, swaggering on stage in shades came the aforementioned Iannooo who promptly launched into ‘Love Like a Fountain’. Mayhem.

Sparring and shaking his tambourine, using every inch of the stage, Brown charmed the crowd up with favourites ‘All Ablaze’, ‘Longsight M13’ and ‘Keep What You Got’. Although Brown is often criticised for the ‘weakness’ of his vocals, he is undoubtedly a first class performer and his live band are tight and versatile. After easing us in with the favourites, Brown and band then worked through tracks from his sixth solo album. ‘Stellify’, ‘Just Like You’ and ‘Own Brain’ made appearances, accompanied by himself on harmonica.

Audience banter was short and sweet, but he did say (to a predominantly male crowd) that the best thing about Dublin was the ladies. Before quickly adding the men aren’t bad either. Good save.

It was back to the classics as Brown broke into ‘Sister Rose’, although accompanying strings were courtesy of a laptop, which wasn’t ideal. A bongo solo followed by the mysterious and moustachioed man in the turban, before ‘Marathon Man’ and of course, ‘F.E.A.R’ which closed the set.

The pause before the encore fuelled speculation. What could he pull out of the bag? He’d all ready used up ‘F.E.A.R.’ He wouldn’t…. Would he? Sauntering back on stage, the famous bass line and beat that heralded ‘Fools Gold’ saw the place erupt. The pit was heaving. This was how it’s meant to be. Cider, dancing and ‘Fools Gold’. We felt young again.

The crowd celebrated afterwards by collectively singing ‘Ole Ole Ole’ on the way out and invaded Brogans en masse. Happy days.

www.connected.ie

Plain Daft

It’s Ireland’s most popular fetish website. It’s a place to imagine and fantasise. It’s a portal to live vicariously through. No, not that one your filth bag, we’re talkin’ about Daft.ie.

Countless man hours have been sucked into this virtual vortex. It’s more addictive than any social networking site. Forget Facebook, toss Twitter and move over MySpace, scrolling through the endless possibilities on Daft.ie is far more satisfying than stalking any person.

How many people do you know have a new sofa, ample parking space, three TV points and Neff kitchen appliances? Zero? That’s what we thought. And you don’t feel like a creep perving over Daft. Mostly.

The site itself claims that 85 million pages on it are visited each month – seemingly an outlandish statement but even if this statistic isn’t entirely accurate, it does give us some indication of the extent of Daft addiction.

As a largely unspoken taboo, these statistics give weight to the personal stories of the constant refresh, the sweaty palm that holds the phone as ‘the call’ is made. Before the crushing defeat of hearing the words; “I’m sorry but it’s already been leased.” The devastation…

Followed by the anger, the questioning, “Why don’t they take the ad down then?!” The paranoia, “Maybe they just didn’t like the sound of me? The ad is still up...” Acceptance and hope are the next phases, generally accompanied by spotting a new potential home.

There is the sinking feeling that you’re turning into your parents - scoping out similar gaffs in the area, how much they’re going for, what additional features they have and so on. It is inevitable. You can’t fight this, so don’t bother trying.

Even for those with no intention of moving, the site provides a form of escapism and launches so many 'what ifs'. It’s easy to fantasise about living in a cutesy cottage on Long Lane with the soundest of housemates, all beautiful, all successful and preferably all from different countries.

It is the ‘Sharing…’ section that gives the most insight to the human condition and provides the most laughs. Daft has a language of its own but it takes little interpretation to decode it. It’s like personal ads, but with houses.

As a general rule, if your new housemates have to say they’re “nice and friendly”, they’re probably not. If the tenants include this sentence, “we like socialising and there is always a friendly atmosphere in the house”, prepare yourself for all night sessions and finding a puke point in the corner of your room. Two words are guaranteed to elastic band you away from a potential house share. These are: owner occupied. This directly translate as “living with your menopausal mam - again”. Avoid.

On a side note, the only entries worth poring over are the entries with pictures. Who bothers with the ones without photographs and why? Answers to Oh Francis on a SAE please. But that’s assuming you’ll admit to be being a Daft addict.

* Published in Season 1, Issue 4 of Oh Francis
www.ohfrancis.com

Orbital - Dublin, 14th November 2009

Hopeful faces lined Hatch Street on Saturday night, anxious to get in to the second night of Orbital’s first indoor Irish gigs since 2001. The news of last minute tickets released this week and stellar reports from the previous night saw an impressive turnout, the resulting outcome saw many of these hopeful faces turn disappointed as Tripod soon reached full capacity.

Connected arrived just after ten bells, quickly dumped our coats in the corner and ducked and dived our way through the mob to the front row. Seemingly half the crowd were stuck in the cloakroom queue, but a heaving horde were still able to welcome the world's most famous head lights on stage as the Hartnoll brothers launched into ‘Impact’.

Phil ‘n’ Paul energetically pumped the crowd and seemed to be enjoying it as much as the fans. Known for their high production aesthetics at gigs, the lads were elevated on a mini stage on the main stage with flowing visuals forming a frame behind.

Team Connected were dubious of the 10pm matinee time slot for the two hour set, but the crowd were already lubed up nicely after the days sport and were brought through Belfast, Chime, Satan, Halcyon and On and On, Bigpipe Style, Lush and One Perfect Sunrise.

The cheeky sampling of pop anthem ‘Heaven is a Place on Earth’ by Belinda Carisle, although established in their sets, met a mixed reception as the tone of the set became lighter. For some it was jarring, but other die hards raved on regardless.

Bodies of all ages pogoed and pointed non-stop until the music reluctantly died and the lights went up. Although my companion voiced irritation at DJs who do encores [“Why not just play through?, she asked], no one was complaining when the head lights returned to the stage for the Alison Goldfrapp stamped, ‘The Box’.

When the final house lights came up with shirts sticking to backs and smiles all around, euphoric fans made their way to the merchandise stand like zombies, anxious to capture the memory in something concrete.

Online this month

Cardigan-clad Grizzly Bears invade our annual staff picnic, kicking off the month at www.connected.ie with aplomb. Although by neatly squashing our Victoria sponges and knocking over our French lemonade in the process. Dagnamit!

The fearless and moustachioed Dan Ryan valiantly braves the wilderness of Vicar Street to bring you tales of stupefying adventure from the front line of the Brooklyn band’s latest gig. Follow Dr. Ryan’s chronicles in our lovely online review section.

Elsewhere on the review front, Connected stall down to the intimate Orbital gigs in Tripod - epicness guaranteed. Or your money back. Probably. And Gary Numan flies in to educate us in electric pleasure on his Pleasure Principle tour and reports from John Vanderslice, Yngve and Gatsby gigs and more, will be sent down the wire and hastily pasted to connected.ie for your viewing pleasure.

Teenagers in Tokyo, no not porn, but a quick Google search will lead you to that if that’s what you’re after. No not us, thank you very much. Our Teenagers in Tokyo are gothic grungers from Sydney who play the Academy thi month. We’ll be chatting with them before their gig, not to mention Cave Singers and Woods from the Shred Yr Face tours, now in its third year. We know, we know, they grow up so fast.

Get ready for your close up as Connected photographer at large, Sara Devine continues to get snap happy around the pubs and clubs of Dublin town giving us some beautiful shots to adorn our sexy online gallery. You might be there. You might not. Better check just in case. You don’t want the panic of someone innocuous work mate who casually drops “Oh I saw that picture of you on the internet” into convo without batting an eyelid. Leaving your panic stricken face to mentally scan all potentially incriminating scenarios you’ve been in that may or may not have been photographed. Hell you don’t know. How are you meant to remember? Or maybe that’s just us.

Some say spoiling a child is a form of child abuse. Consider yourselves spoilt and abused you brats.