Braywatch

White sands, coconut palms, glittering water - all components of the perfect beach. These romantic notions are probably why the nomination of Brayruit's shore as Dublin's best has met, let's just say, some antagonistic responses. But the naysayers can it a "tough sell" all they want, Bray beach is the biz and here’s why.

Served by the DART and Dublin bus, it’s a hassle-free hop from city centre but it’s also far away enough to make it seem like a proper day out. The beach itself is just under a mile long and is probably the only shore on our list that is suitable for people who don't like sand. It's stony and grey but let’s face it, the appeal of Bray beach has always been more in the kitsch ‘Brighton of Ireland’ end of things. And although the Snake Slide and Waltzers of summer’s past are now long gone, there’s still amusements and diversions to be had.

Starting at the Bray Head end if you make it past the vicious (vicious!) gorse bushes on the way up, you can join the concrete cross on top for what are pretty spectacular views on a clear day. On the way back down, haunt Star Amusements arcade for some air hockey, dance machine and hoop shooting. Or if you’re into proper gambling, the very dark and maze-like room at the back accommodates with endless rows of fruit and slot machines. As a teenage 'House of Dead 2' conqueror I can say with authority that the day can slip away quite quickly in there.

If do you manage to make it back outside before dark, you’re probably going to be hungry by then. Some lovely civilised sit-down cafes and restaurants have sprouted along the promenade, but a day at the seaside should mean fish & chips out of a vinegar-soaked brown bag. Seaside Fast Food operate out of a small window but their fresh cut chips are the best on the beach, you might have to queue on a sunny day but they’re worth the wait. The well-kept grass along the promenade is a good spot to take them. If you’re looking for ice cream or pints afterwards, there’s loads of choice. We favour a pistachio cone from Gelateria and a pint outside The Harbour Bar, but stay away from the aggro swans if you want to escape injury free on the last DART.

Best of Dublin #2

Best Early House

With light beaming in from its open and welcoming doors, Ned’s appears like an oasis on a quiet corner of Townsend Street. Opening at 7am in the morning, it caters for the city’s shift workers, those who need a drink first thing and those who just want to continue the party. A recent visit on Saturday morning saw a mixed crowd mingling amiably as a youngish gang of mates had a bit of a dance in the corner to Rihanna while some fresher faced men, straight from night duty, sank some post-work pints. As the last early house visited on our trail and with some ropey moments behind us, we were happy to find the crowd at Ned’s were friendly and easy going. With a seated smoking area out back, if they got the tap fixed in the Ladies toilets, Ned’s would be pretty perfect.

Ned’s, 44 Townsend Street, Dublin 2, 677 9507

Best Street Performers

You probably wouldn’t recognise these guys if you saw their faces, but you’d definitely recognise their music. Constantly hidden behind a shroud of tourists, Busketeers use a drum kit, acoustic guitar, bass and violin to draw listeners to their temporary turf. It’s a fairly energetic set up. Although all from Poland, the band didn’t form until they were all in Ireland and now play their blend of folk jazz to full crowds on the streets of the city.You’re most likely to see them at prime busker spots like the corner of Crown Alley or on Grafton Street interacting with a gathered mob and when you do, you can pick up their CD for a measly 10 blips. For that you get traditional Polish pieces mixed with Irish trad and Katy Perry covers. Yes, you read right.

www.myspace.com/busketeers

Best Sunday Drive

Giving your road rage a day off is a good idea. If you find yourself automatically despising everyone who drives a Yaris or a Passat, a relaxing scenic drive of a Sunday just might take the edge off things. While the coast road is stunning, it’s also choc full of semi-nude sunbathers once the first sign of sun emerges so for a peaceful escape, a meander up the Dublin mountains is just the ticket. Leaving the M50 at Firhouse, it’s a short jaunt until you’re in full on countryside, meaning fresh air, quiet roads and sunshine (hopefully). Snaking up past the Hell Fire Club, Cruagh Wood and Ticknock to across the featherbeds, there’s opportunities for hiking, mountain biking or for the less energetic, picnics and sight seeing. You even might spot an ice-cream van on the way. Word to the wise; don’t try eating your 99 while steering with your elbows on these twisty roads.

The Dublin Mountains, see dublinmountains.ie

Best Rooftop

Ireland’s a tricky one for rooftops. Since our summers can be all too brief it’s senseless for anyone to invest too much in them making them decent, considering they’ll be defunct 245 days a year (approx). But the smart folk at The Sycamore Club in Temple Bar trump the weather with their remote control roof - in yer face clouds. Under an open roof, thirteen table booths line the circumference, there’s a DJ in the corner and a bar lining one wall. Those who suffer from acrophobia, that’s a fear of heights, need not worry as it’s easy to forget you’re even on a roof - even without a few jars on you. Entrance to this three-storey members club is via a fairly anonymous black door where a red carpeted lift takes you to the top floor. With new developments and a revamp schedule for their second birthday on July 8th, The Sycamore Club will soon be open earlier, five days a week and serving food. Discreet and unique.

The Sycamore Club, 9 Sycamore Street, Temple Bar, Dublin 2, 4743942. sycamoreclub.com

Best Outdoor Yoga

Taking yoga out of the studio and back to nature, Stoneybatter’s Two Palms Yoga takes residence in Phoenix Park every Saturday this summer. Located right beside the Wellington Monument near the Park Gate street entrance, the sight of twenty yogis in sun salutation is a strange one. But when you consider yoga is all about being one with nature, it makes a lot more sense than a mirrored, wooden floored studio. With two other volunteers, Fiona of Two Palms Yoga takes the class through Hatha positions to suit beginners and more experienced practitioners. Fiona says, “It’s accessible to all, I’ve taught all ages from 4 year olds to 60 – 70 year olds. It’s all about the personal experience so you can take it at your own pace.” Best of all, the classes are donation based and all proceeds go to Dublin Simon Community. Get there for 11am with a mat or towel, shades, factor 15 and get bending.

Wellington Monument, Phoenix Park, Dublin 7, twopalmsyoga.com

Best of Dublin #1

Best Place to Dump Someone

It’s always a difficult choice. But when it comes to dumping it’s all about location, location, location. While we’re not claiming to be lothario heartbreakers, we’ve seen enough tears and sad faces to know the St. Stephen’s Green is the hotspot for Dublin dumping and when you stop and think about it; it’s actually the perfect location. Now the flowers are in full bloom, it’s pretty enough to distract from the general despair of the situation. There’s solitary benches aplenty to conduct ‘the talk’ on and while it’s quiet enough to let someone down easy it’s crucially, public enough so your date can’t make too much of a show. And if a moment gets a bit too hairy, there are always people around to divert your attention. Just make sure to pick a spot away from the loved-up and handsy summer couples who litter the lawns. Oh, and one more thing, good luck.

St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2.

Best Place to Rollerblade

With Dún Laoghaire’s east pier coming in a close second, it’s Phoenix Park that prevails as the best spot for rollerblading in Dublin. Knowing how our earnest plans can fall by the wayside, a swift visit to Smyth’s toys for some cheapo blades was made and we took to the paths. Along lengthy avenues paved with smooth tarmac, you can take your practice that bit further up by Farmleigh and falls are cushioned by the grass verges. Not that we fell much... Ahem. It’s the location of choice by the Ride and Roll group who meet here regular to slalom (zigzag) through cones and do all sorts of crazy tricks. While their beginner lessons are out till September, they’re still holding regular meet-ups and rides throughout the summer. If we manage to get the weather, brace yourself for a lot of fun, sore ankles and a lot more respect for your ten year-old self.

Phoenix Park, Dublin 8, rideandroll.eu

Best for Tattoos and Piercings

If you’re getting something painful and permanent done, you want to be hands safer than Gigi Buffon’s. That’s where the hands of the Snakebite staff come in. But don’t let the name put you off. Having undergone several piercings in various shops dotted around Dublin in my ‘radical youth,’ only the piercing from this Middle Abbey Street shop remains. Robert, Erin, Denis and tattoo apprentice Seán make up the current tattoo team, all of which come from fine art background. They’re willing to tattoo anything, no matter how weird, although good luck beating a recent piece by Erin of a Velociraptor dinosaur brandishing a shank. Bizarre but brilliant art, coupled with friendly customer banter, sensitive treatment and fantastic aftercare are all part of the package here. Pictures of their art work are displayed on their Facebook page for the curious and if you have any queries or qualms they’re dealt with efficiently and in good humour on there too.

Snakebite, 54 Middle Abbey St, Dublin 1, 874 0011, snakebite.ie

Best Place to Style Perv

While Dublin street style blogs buzz around the art colleges and the usual clubnights, they can also be found hovering around South William Street where a slighter broader section of society is on show. With outdoor seating a-go-go, you can watch the world and his mother go by from the comfort of a café and behind the safety of sunglasses - a must to hide gawking eyes. We’ve seen all sorts here. From the more daring lamé leggings and string vest combo look, to smart business wear, the South William is a catwalk to it all. Despite the street name coming from the unfortunately named William Williams, who was not particularly known for his flair with a lace collar or glazed linen shirt, the street has thrived. With deadly shops like Harlequin, Retro and Size? just around the corner and the Powerscourt centre smack in the middle, it’s little wonder this spot is poifect for clothes pervin’.

South William Street, Dublin 2

Best Rural Pubs - Dublin

The Blue Light

Ask any biker and they’ll tell you there’s nowt better than tripping out to The Blue Light on a summer’s eve. But you don’t need to be a biker to visit; they’re still a pretty welcoming bunch. Just above Stepaside, hidden up in the mountains, this gem of a bar has one of the best views of Dublin, probably the best if the neighbours would be so kind to chop down their obstructing trees. Regardless, the bar staff are sound, the locals are friendly, the picnic benches are well placed, there’s crisps aplenty, live music and chilled cider. Just add one sunset.

The Blue Light, Barnacullia, Sandyford, Co. Dublin, 2954682

Man O ’War

We only discovered this thatched time warp a few years ago at Sibín festival, which usually kicks off the summer silly season at the beginning of May. That’s pretty late considering the deeds go back 415 years, safe to say there’s been a fair few missed opportunities. Situated just outside Balbriggan, this is a genuine old pub that gimmicky Oirish bars the world over have tried to imitate. It is a bit far out so they organise discounted bus shuttles for groups from far a field, and a local courtesy bus. Also we’ve found the local pool sharks only too happy to challenge you to a game but heed our warning; keep bets minimal, you haven’t a chance of winning.

Man O' War Pub & Restaurant, Courtlough, Balbriggan, Co. Dublin, 841 5528, manowar.ie

McEvoy’s

A pint and a paddle, what more could you want? Just 2km from Celbridge, Kildare types have tried to claim this one as their own, but we’ve been reliably informed from an estate agent that the area is covered under the South Dublin Development Plan. And estate agents never lie. Nestled right up beside the Grand Canal, this is the perfect spot to while away a sunny afternoon. By white-washed walls and well kept flowers you can observe canal activities like boating, fishing and boozing. If you can boat it out - great, but if not the newly expanded Hazelhatch Celbridge train station is your best bet.

McEvoy’s, Hazelhatch, Newcastle, Co. Dublin, 6288283

Dublin's Odd Museums

Ye Olde Hurdy Gurdy Museum of Vintage Radio

Taking its name from the nickname given to Radio Éireann by Seán Lemass, Ye Old Hurdy Gurdy Museum of Vintage Radio has been operating from Howth’s Martello Tower since 2003. With walls lined with posters and advertising signs, and floor space and cabinets crammed with radios and gramophones, curator Pat Herbert has built up quite a collection since he started in 1954. The tower itself has historic ties with the development of the hurdy gurdy, as radio pioneers Lee DeForest and Guglielmo Marconi both experimented from there in 1903 and 1905 respectively. Last Saturday (24th April) saw visitors trek to the tower for International Marconi Day, where the team operated Morse code all over the world to distant Marconi enthusiasts. Herbert tells us, “We’ve received messages from all over – Newfoundland, Russia and European countries.” The most recent item in the exhibit is a record player but the museum is looking forward too. “We cover everything from the wireless to the web; did you look up our website?” Herbert asks. We just might.

Ye Olde Hurdy Gurdy Museum of Vintage Radio, http://ei5em.110mb.com/museum.html. open May to October: 11am-5pm daily, November to April 11am -4pm (weekends only), admission €5


The National Wax Museum Plus

Somewhere out there, a glazed Tellytubby dressed up as Stalin shares a sofa with Hannibal Lecter who is dolled up in a Marylin Monroe wig. This is probably an idealistic scenario for the waxworks and costumes stolen from the original wax museum, but we live in hope. Having reopened last year in a new venue off College Green, the National Wax Museum Plus has replaced and expanded on the missing pieces. It now encompasses a history vault, writers’ rooms, sound studio, film and music legends, chamber of horrors, Irish legends and oh, Mr. Freeze is there too. We’re delighted the robbery didn’t send him to the cooler. Bewildered visitor Oisín O’Brion from Laois gave us his verdict as he was leaving, “It was an unnerving and surreal experience, a very odd mix. They’ll probably have a Jedward statue next.” Again, we live in hope.

The National Wax Museum Plus, 4 Foster Place, Dublin 2. waxmuseumplus.ie. Tel: 671 8373, admission €7 for children, €9 for adults. Students, teenagers & concession €9. Family Ticket: 2 Adults & 2 Children (under 12) €30


The Mobile Phone Museum

This venture received a great reception (wheeey…) when it opened in January this year. From 80s bricks to the iPhone, The Mobile Phone Museum is committed to the preservation of iconic mobiles. Curator Alan Donohue worked in the industry for years before combining private collections for public exhibit - with a little help from eBay. “We’ve got a good few pieces from there too. The most we’ve paid is £600 on the Motorola Dynatac, the world’s first mobile. It’s a big collector’s item”, Donohue explains. But his favourite phone of all time is the Nokia 6310i - “the sturdiest phone ever made, there’s nothing else like it.” The world’s smallest phone, the first Bluetooth, first phone watch and the first to vibrate are all behind glass, but if you ask nicely they might let you take a snap pretending to be Zac Morris or Gordon Gekko - which ever you fancy.

The Mobile Phone Museum, 6-7 Abbey Street, Dublin 2, mobilephonemuseum.ie, Tel: 8728722, free admission


The National Leprechaun Museum

With its 30lb crock of gold and a promise to take visitors to the heart of Irish identity, this Abbey Street venture faces a hard sell. The very mention of a National Leprechaun Museum induces scoffs and sniggers, but then anyone who’s ever been asked about their existence by non-natives can see some reasoning. Hell, why didn’t anyone think of this earlier? Concentrating more on folklore than paddywhackery, the museum combines interactive experience, such as making visitors feel a third of their size in a room of giant furniture, with more a traditional exhibition showing representations of leprechauns in pop culture. Some advice, be careful not to drop your souvenir leprechaun coin in the fare box on Dublin Bus. You will be gutted, and a sympathetic but resigned shrug from a bus driver won’t bring it back.

The National Leprechaun Museum, Abbey Street (Jervis Luas), Dublin 1. leprechaunmuseum.ie, admission €10 for adults, €7 for children/concession. Family Ticket: 2 adults & 2 children) €27. A €10 ticket includes a souvenir leprechaun coin which can be kept or redeemed in the museum shop/café to the value of €3


The Revenue Museum

Everyone has been more interested in the state’s revenue since, well, we ran out, but it’s still pretty hard to get excited about this museum. Opened by then Minister for Finance, Brian Cowen in 2007, The Revenue Museum sells itself as “a graphic and interactive exhibition of Tax and Customs collection, protection and accounting from the distant past to the present.” That makes it sound quite epic. While we admit we couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm to personally road test this museum, we were not helped by the unsociable opening hours Mon-Fri 10am - 4pm. With a lengthy break down of the role of revenue in the foundation of the state and pretty much every thing since, we’re imagining a kind of Reeling in the Years without the emotive music. We asked accountant Aidan Ryan from Tallaght what he thought of the museum, “I actually thought you were having a laugh, a revenue museum? Sounds made up. Never heard of it.” You couldn’t make it up.

The Revenue Museum, Chapel Crypt, Lower Yard, Dublin Castle, Dublin 2. revenue.ie, Tel: 8635 601


St. Michan’s Church

Although it’s not in the title (we’re bending the rules a bit here), the underground burial vaults of this Northside church is a mummy museum. It’s certainly a catchier and more descriptive name. For within the dry crypts of this inconspicuous church lie mummified remains, four of which are fully open for public viewing. By tip-toeing down a narrow stone stairway, you come to limestone tunnel with narrow coffin galleries on either side. In one alcove, casket lids are removed to reveal dried bodies with leathered skin covered in a thick film of dust. The tour guide will tell you the cadaver of ‘the crusader’ is meant to bring luck and to touch his finger, but there doesn’t seem to be anything too lucky about this scenario - considering he’s stuffed in an ill-fitting coffin with people prodding his corpse. Not for the fainted hearted.

St. Michan’s Church, 8 East Church Street, Dublin 3. Tel: 872 4154

Little Shop That Could

Charles Byrne Musik Instrumente has lived inconspicuously on Stephens Street for over a hundred years, but has less German history than the name suggests.

After stretching to press the door bell, we were let in and Charles Byrne himself told us about the beginnings of the shop, "The business started with my grandfather who got it in 1900 for repairing Egan Harps, so my family goes that far back connected with the music world."

Over the years the shop began selling instruments as well as repairing, until someone let fire to the building through the letterbox in 1992. His wife Maria told us, "It was a sad lost. But we were also very lucky. We could've been in the place working."

Geraldine, their daughter, added, "It was an opportunity as well. We had been here one hundred odd years and you do accumulate a lot of junk in that time. Since then there's been a lot of new things, a lot of changes. It rejuvenated the place as well."

Charles said, "After the fire Geraldine said she'd stay with us and help straighten things out. So I grabbed one arm and my wife grabbed the other and we says ‘You're in!’ and we have no regrets. She is excellent.”

You might expect a hundred year old shop to have a sort of dusty charm but Charles Byrne Musik Instrumente also have a website, blog and twitter.

On our visit, Peter Peterson from Washington State visited, “I came here for a low whistle. I've never seen them in a shop before."

But it's not only tourists that visit, Charles says, "I'm seeing grandchildren and great grand children of my first customers coming in so that shows ya I'm getting old. People make a special effort to shop here, that's how we're still in business."

"There's people who trust dad and wont go anywhere else,” beams Geraldine.

As we were leaving, being forced (ok maybe not ‘forced) to take a sweet and a calender, a German tourist inquires about the name, Charles tells her with a wink that he added the name for a laugh with a German supplier.

Patrick Kelleher - Album Review

Setting out to transform an electro-folk album into pure electronica is a brave venture. Particularly when you’re setting out to transform a record as well received as this one. It’s safe to say that Patrick Kelleher’s debut album You Look Cold was enthusiastically praised across the board. His layered approach in combining genres created something quite strange and yet quite beautiful. But less than a year since the original comes the cheekily titled You Look Colder – the remixes. Sequels to greats are often set up to fail but thankfully, You Look Colder is more Godfather II then The Matrix Reloaded. Phew.

Skinny Wolves kick things off with their stab at ‘He has to Sleep Sometime’, which is re-skinned as robotic dance punk you can pogo to. Thread Pulls ‘Finds You’ remix follows, starting out on the minimalistic side of the things only to build momentum with soft then intensified tribal drumming. David Kitt puts on his producing hat for ‘Not Leaving Town’ which at first maintains the haunting tone of the original, before morphing into a lighter, upbeat dance track. The other well-known producer on board is Jape, whose motorik beats establish themselves before relinquishing to an unexpected trance breakdown. Also featuring remixes by Toymonger, Catscars, The Booklovers, Hulk, Fucktotem, Legion of Two and School Tour, You Look Colder varies from mainstream dancey choons to industrial, avant-garde, orchestral, playful and even cinematic tracks.

A diverse experiment that really shouldn’t work but really does, You Look Colder is interesting as a companion piece to the original but can also stand by itself. The brain child of Patrick Henry from Osaka Records, the talents from very different electronic offshoots are pooled together for one mad record. More of this please Dublin.

Dave Clarke - Album Review

Words cannot describe the confusion and horror when the first few bars of Dave Clarke’s album There Was a Girl kicked in. This wasn’t the Baron of Techno, this was the stuff of acoustic nightmares. Er, there’s been a bit of a mix up…

There isn’t much musical crossover between techno Dave and his soft rock alter ego, but it still remains a highly confusing affair – even iTunes has techno Dave’s biography listed under soft rock Dave’s picture. All we know is what we can tell from the album cover; he’s bearded, he likes to wear oversized shades, he likes sitting in cars and, according to Amazon, his album is manufactured on demand using CD-R recordable media. He cuts a mysterious figure.

Opening with the album’s title track, ‘There was a Girl’ eases us in to the lax pace of the record, albeit with eerie howling. From this introduction we learn that soft rock Dave likes to rhyme. A lot. And he showcases his rigid rhyming skills throughout the album, here’s a sample from track two; “running to hide, running to stay alive/running to keep still/running up a hill” and so on and so forth. This is just a tiny taster of what is an entire album of forced nonsensical couplets.

After that one meanders to a silence, a live track begins with a civil crowd clapping for ‘Paintings on the Wall’. If you never thought acoustic could be proper sleazy, think again and listen here; “bang bang/yes I like it/bang bang all the way together”. The monotonous strum of guitar is violated by the filth that comes out of soft Dave’s mouth. This is pretty much as exciting as the album gets. Aside from a country twinge to ‘Wake Up’ and the brief bizarre ’80s synth intros to ‘The Escape’ and ode to sending an email ‘Lonely Days’, There Was a Girl plods along track-to-track with a faint acoustic guitar strumming mindlessly in the background, while soft Dave moans into the mic. It’s all pretty uninspiring.

Admittedly we got off on the wrong foot, so an external examiner listened to soft Dave to give There was a Girl a fair hearing. After a few tracks they turned and said, “This sounds like something Hugh Grant would’ve wrote in that film Music and Lyrics, doesn’t it?” Sums it up really. Stick to the original Dave Clarke is the recommendation.

Urban Picnic - Restaurant Review

Starved workers have long migrated to the various establishments in and around George's Street Arcade for quick lunchtime eats. Certainly at The Dubliner, we've never been shy about our penchant of our weekly pilgrimage for a Sloppy Joe, but there is a new(ish) dog in town.

Urban Picnic resides in the space formerly occupied by The Bagel Bar with a menu that emphasises flavours from the Mediterranean, Asia and the Americas. On our visit, we were greeted by cheery staff and considering the weather (horrid as usual), I ordered soup of the day (tomato and basil) with brown bread (€4.95), while my companion had a roasted vegetable and spinach wrap with pesto mayo (€5.75).

The seating is communal benches, which I'm a fan of but it is an arrangement that can be divisive - a suit at the end of the bench with his newspaper spread out seemed happy with the extra space. The food arrived quickly, the soup was pulpy, the bread was very lightly toasted, the roasted veg were crunchy and the dressing was delish. On our way out, Chef Vinny asked us for honest feedback, we were able to say we'd definitely be back.

Urban Picnic, 30 Market Arcade, South Great Georges Street, Dublin 2

Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Behind The Scenes at the National Leprechaun Museum

Two balding heads peered curiously beneath the shutters which were lowered to half mast, “What’s going here, huh? What are you doing with our building?” The two men, who used to work in the old Fás offices, start to laugh when they are told they are on the site of the National Leprechaun Museum. "No really, it is", a museum employee insisted. "You’re pulling our legs," the civil servants shot back. After some to and fro, the men were finally convinced of the reality and walked away laughing with a promise to return.

Their reactions, while amusing, are not uncommon. It is most peoples’ first response after hearing a leprechaun museum is opening in Dublin, people instinctively question whether it will pander and perpetuate ludicrous assumptions of Ireland. You know those assumptions we assumed had died - until we saw Leap Year and it was confirmed that crazy Oirish characters are alive and well, and still make phone calls from fifties-style telephone booths rather than mobile phones.

In arranging a visit to the museum, the owner Tom O’Rahilly explained the reasoning behind the museum, “Irish culture is famous the world over – even Walt Disney came to Ireland to look for leprechauns. However, not many know the real stories behind the country’s folklore. We want to take visitors to the heart of Irish identity and imagination, telling the amazing tales that make up Celtic culture and offering some surprises and new experiences along the way."

Perhaps sensing our disbelief we were told that Dáithí Ó hÓgáin, Emeritus Professor of the Dept. Folklore at UCD, acted as the leprechaun consultant for the new venture and that the museum is rooted in folklore. The first room is a traditional museum information room and sets leprechauns in context in terms of popular culture. O’Rahilly guided us, “References to leprechauns date from the early texts of the 8th century, right through to Finian’s Rainbow, Darby O’Gill and The Simpsons. This room places leprechauns in early literature and follows them right through to modern times.”

Next up, we were ushered through an Alice in Wonderland-esque tunnel which plays with perception, leaving you a little disorientated. Beginning at the start of the tunnel, visitors appear larger and larger until they reach the end, which incidentally leaves them at the next room – ‘The Giants Causeway’. Beautifully crafted in wood, walking beneath this causeway is bizarre, but not as bizarre as the next room. ‘The Giant’s House’ lets visitors experience what it is like to be a third the size of humans, in a room with giant chairs, a table, cups and a fireplace. It’s pretty strange and again, messes with proportions and perspective.

O’Rahilly talked us through the remaining chapters; the bronze-clad ‘Inside the Fairy Hill’ is particularly interesting. He explained, “The Neolithic sites are very important in the history of mythology, these sites were home to the mythical beings of Ireland. We’re going to take you inside the fairy hill. We’re going to take you inside those sites and what we imagine they were like.”

Concentrating more so on folklore and Irish history, the leprechaun museum aims to use experience and feeling to tell stories - it even boasts an almost touchable 30lb crock of gold. It is unavoidable that The Leprechaun Museum will be sniggered at. But if you manage to get past the preconceptions , you might find a museum rooted in folklore, rather than paddywhackery.

Two pieces of advice for visitors; it’s pretty disorientating so recall that swimming advice and don’t visit until at least one hour after eating. Also don’t drop your souvenir coin in the fare box on Dublin Bus. You will be devastated.

The National Leprechaun Museum is situated right at the Jervis Street Luas stop.

Admission: €10 for adults, €7 for children/concession, family entry (two adults, two children) €27. A €10 ticket includes a souvenir leprechaun coin which can be kept or redeemed in the museum shop/café to the value of €3. See more at: www.leprechaunmuseum.ie

La Caverna - Restaurant Review

From the raving word of mouth recommendations that seem to emanate from La Caverna in Temple Bar, you’d be expecting simple and authentic Italian dishes created with fresh, high-quality ingredients. You might also expect friendly service, some nice décor and a pleasant atmosphere. Expect to have these expectations crushed.

From our arrival we were disappointed. We were hoping to be seated in the wine cellar dining area, the barrel vault from which the name derives, but were shooed into the street level dining area. The waitress absconded before we could inquire about the cellar dining. Seated in a mini booth at a tiny table, we surveyed our surroundings - the menstrual red carpet, uncomfortable pine canteen chairs and generic art work all generated a sense of unease. The ABBA music oozing from hidden speakers added a bit of sparkle to the drab surroundings, but not enough to lift it from depressville.

Left with tatty menus, we surveyed the options. There are apparently specials, but these were not advertised on blackboards and not given by our waitress. No specials or anything special to be found on the menu either – potato skins, chicken wings, garlic mushrooms, burgers, chicken curry, ‘Italian’ omelette all feature, alongside the usual pizza and pasta dishes. It is a menu of overpriced pub grub - €19.95 for battered cod and chips (!). Our soft drink and glass of house white arrived at the table, neither chilled. Not wanting to linger, we decided to just get mains and get out.

My companion had a simple Margheritta [sic] pizza (€9.95), which looked like it was steam rolled out of the oven to our table. Nothing to write home about - although the tomato sauce had an unexpected zing to it, which is good if you like spicy, but not so good if you were expecting a plain ole pizza. I ordered two starters; the large Calarmi rings (€6.95) were over-cooked, rendering them rubbery and served with out-of-the-bottle sweet chilli sauce, which was an odd combination. The Brie Salad (€6.95) involved a giant wedge of brie with a side salad of iceberg lettuce, cucumber, pepper and three olives. The accompanying home-made cranberry sauce was overbearing and completely smothered the over-cooked brie, which managed to have a chewy coating. Truly awful. I had to nick a pizza slice from my companion to rid the taste.

After waiting an age for the bill, we grabbed our scrunched up coats from the side of our chairs (no cloak room and no backs of chairs to hang your on) and made a swift exit. An awful dining experience. Dissmissive staff (although a very smiley Maitre d’/manager), drab surroundings and a menu seemingly thrown together with no pretence of Italian. How places like this thrive and great Italian’s like Café Piedescalso on Thomas Street had to close is beyond me. It you don’t like Italian and want over-priced pub grub, you might enjoy a trip to La Caverna.

La Caverna, 12 Fownes Street, Temple Bar, Dublin 2. 01 6703110, www.lacaverna.info

Boorm Boorm!

The smiliest man we've ever seen on a Harley, Charlie Boorman, will be spinning yarns in Vicar Street on Sunday night. Still some tickets left at time of press... Amanda Kavanagh caught up with him a couple of weeks ago to talk tents, TV and touring

How would you describe the live show?
It's a kind of a Q&A session where I'll be interviewed on a stage full of motorbikes by Billy Ward, who runs biketruck.com. It'll be an opportunity to voice all the things that didn't get included in the TV show or books.

Like what?
More than anything, there's a lot stories and stuff that happened when the camera wasn't quick enough to catch it. Funny things and silly situations you get yourself in and you think, "Oh God, what am I doing here?"

Where is the most exotic place on the tour?
That's a tough one. Maybe Glasgow? That's probably the only exotic place in the UK, aside from Cornwall.

What kind of questions are you asked in the Q&A audience session?
I'm always asked what happened in the tent with Ewan [McGregor]. But you know, what happens in a tent, stays in a tent.

You started your journey to Sydney for By Any Means in Wicklow... Why?
I grew up in Wicklow and it's the place that I learned to ride dirt bikes, up in the Wicklow hills around Annamoe. There was a guy nearby called Tommy and it was because of him that I really got into motorbikes properly. He had a dirt bike when I was a kid and he let me have goes on it. So I've got him to thank for all this! Wicklow has been the starting point for so many adventures. My first was for my father's [John Boorman] film Deliverance and I haven't stopped since. I wanted to start the trip from home, where things really started for me. That was really important.

Where are the best and worst places you've been?
There hasn't really been a worst, although there were some hairy situations. The best was Mongolia on the Long Way Around. It was pretty incredible and it was difficult to get across. The people there were so warm and there you never see any waste, everything is used. They are just lovely people. Papa New Guinea was great too.

The live run is finishing in Dublin, what's next?

Well, probably a big hooley right after and then I'm heading to Jordan for a TV show, which I'm very excited about.

Charley Boorman Live visits Vicar Street, 58 Thomas Street, Dublin 2 on 28th March. Tickets €23. charleyboormanlive.com, vicarstreet.com

Havana - Restaurant Review

When you find a place that serves decent calamari, you’ve found a restaurant you’ll find yourself eventually haunting. After lengthy recovery from a calamari overdose on a seaside holiday last summer, the calamari urge struck again - prompting a visit to Havana on George’s Street, Dublin. With previous positive experience under an expanding belt, my choice had already been decided on the way there. A menu was unnecessary for me, but my companion accepted two from a smiling waitress regardless. The first laminate was an Early Bird menu (available all night Monday – Wednesday) and the second, the All Day menu.

My companion settled on the Chicken Satay with casablanca couscous & satay dip (€9.20) on the Early Bird, and I, while tempted by Lentil & Chorizo Stew (€8.95), was not to be deterred from my mission and ordered Calamares (€7.95). Having brought the car, availing of the €4.75 per glass wine was not an option, and so an apple juice and Fanta (€2.75 each) were both delivered to the table, both with a little too much ice.

Our food arrived after a short wait, the calamari was small but plentiful and coated in a thin crisp of non-puff batter, served on a small green salad. The accompanying coconut and lime sauce was divine and after the tender squid was eaten, I was shamefully to be found eating the sauce straight from the ramekin. My companion was happy with her two small chicken skewers, which were swimming in creamy satay, its partnering couscous was light and fluffy but the mystery dip was questionable. It tasted like a mild Tabasco sauce and for me it clashed with the satay but my companion appreciated it – out of curiosity if nothing else.

After by-passing the dessert menu, we lingered to chat without noticing it was closing time, despite feeling sheepish we noticed a couple on their first date (yes there was a little eavesdropping) also didn’t notice the time. That’s one of the great qualities of Havana, the atmosphere is relaxed and the staff don’t try to hurry you along, even if it is closing time. Although the draw of the 20% off all-night Early Bird is an added incentive to visit Havana, as a casual restaurant that already boasts low prices it’s not a major draw - come for the cocktails and calamari.

Havana Tapas Bar, Georges St., Dublin 2. Tel: 01 400 5990, www.havana.ie

John, Shelly and the Creatures - Album Review

The first thing always noted about John, Shelly and the Creatures is how their track ‘Long May you Reign’ features on the Discover Northern Ireland ads. You know the one. But there’s more to this Belfast band than providing a folksy ambience to a montage of Ferris wheels and rope bridges. A lot more. And the proof is in their debut album Dinosaur.

It opens with ‘Blinded and Cross’ with an intro that manages to be both distorted and melodic. Combining the simplicity of a solo mandolin and both hoarse and harmonious vocals, it’s a good indicator of what to expect from the rest of the album. Dinosaur is a collection of contradictions that on paper might suggest a jarring mess, but in reality flows along effortlessly, irrespective of its varied genres and broad range of instruments.

JSC wear their influences on their sleeves; ‘Sunny Side Street’, ‘Cold War’ and ‘Sight of your Chest’ in particular evoke the haunting strains of Elliott Smith. But it’s not all doom and gloom, standout upbeats include ‘Rust’, ‘Killer’ and of course, ‘Long May you Reign’. Elsewhere, while pop-rock ditty ‘Fools’ is an enjoyable romp, its faux-American accented intro does seem out of place, as does the song as a whole, considering the general tone of the album. Still, eleven out of twelve ain’t bad.

This debut serves to further validate JSC’s place in State’s Faces of 2010, expect to see and hear a lot more from these guys. While Dinosaur probably won’t persuade you to go on a Northern adventure with a man in a hideous pleather tan blazer, it will persuade you that JSC deserve the rising hype.

ABSOLUT Fringe deadline draws nearer

Those wishing to take part in Dublin’s ABSOLUT Fringe 2010 better get their skates on as the deadline for applications draws ever closer. This year’s deadline for applications is March 12th at 6pm.

The Fringe team are holding a pre-application workshop on March 10th, 6.30pm in their offices on Sackville Place to help guide applicants in what they’re looking for. This year they’re particularly looking for pieces that interpret the theme of community, and are encouraging applicants to think outside of the obvious associations of exclusion and disadvantage, so this is just the opportunity to pitch that ‘Chat Roulette – the musical’ you’ve been working on.

Fringe is open to theatre, dance, music, multi-media, visual art, live art and street performance from Ireland and abroad. Download the application form from here.

Jameson Dublin International Film Festival Closing Gala

Sidestepping a guest-listed red carpet, the ordinary Joes shuffled unglamorously to a packed Screen 1 in the Savoy for the closing gala of this year’s Jameson Dublin International Film Festival. The main event was the screening of Luca Guadagnino’s beautiful feature I am Love (Io Sono L’Amore), and the attendance of its director and leading lady added an extra buzz to the evening.

Joanne O’Hagan, CEO of the festival firstly did the obligatory ‘thank yous’ to the relevant supporting bodies, promoters, staff and volunteers before inviting festival director Gráinne Humphreys to say a few words. Humphreys took the opportunity to speak about the development on the festival which led into a poignant tribute to festival-founder Michael Dwyer, who she reckoned would have particularly enjoyed the opening credits of the night’s feature.

With the lights dimmed, Luca Guadagnino and Tilda Swinton were then welcomed to the stage, arriving from the back of the theatre. Swinton continued on from Humphrey’s tribute to Dwyer, speaking eloquently, the 10ft (approx) red head revealed that her only trips to Dublin had been for his festival and that she always kept an eye out at Cannes and Toronto for her “fellow ginger”.

In introducing the film, director Guadagnino began by saying that although it was his first trip to Dublin, he felt as if he already knew the city through its wealth of music and film. Before hurriedly handing back the mic, he added that John Houston’s The Dead had been a particular influence on him. Cue Dublin applause.

The curtains went back and the credits roll. If Dwyer had a penchant for beautiful fifties-style opening credits, then Humphrey’s assumption is right on the money. The lengthy credits of I am Love (Io Sono L’Amore) takes viewers back to a forgotten age of cinema, transporting old-fashioned aesthetics to turn of the millennium Milan.

The narrative opens on the meticulous preparations for an elaborate family dinner, under the instruction of wealthy housewife Emma Recchi (Swinton). As the family assembles, family tensions are palpable. Swinton’s restless character is at the centre of the peace keeping, until the fractures of her complex family life begin to mount. Beginning with a surprise announcement at dinner, the family’s world starts to unravel. To give a flavour of the plot without giving away too much, one of my intelligent friends pointed out its similarities to Ibsen’s A Doll’s House – take from that as much as you want.

Shot beautifully with a dramatic score from John Adams, I am Love is simply gorgeous. Swinton is fantastic as usual, speaking fluent Italian with a faint Russian accent (!). The support performance from Marisa Berensen as matriarch Allegra Recchi is restrained and aristocratic, whereas Antonio Biscaglia’s versatile Edo is convincing in both his optimism and despair. Although the shortcuts used to symbolise a character’s ‘coming out’ as a lesbian are a bit ridiculous (short hair, culottes for example), overall I am Love is a masterpiece. After wrestling its format from the clutches of Turkish soaps, Guadagnino had successfully reclaimed the melodrama.

Edge of Darkness - Film Review

It's hard to believe it's been eight years since we last saw Mad Mel take the lead on screen. That's not counting his apology with Diane Sawyer on ABC News over anti-Semitic remarks made while DUI in 2006, of course. Mel has kept busy, co-writing and directing Apocalypto and The Passion of the Christ, but here he puts his actor hat back on.

In Edge of Darkness, Mel plays Boston detective Craven whose daughter is murdered at the front door of his home. Initial leads on the case suggest an enemy of Craven's meant to target him, but cooly dismissing this claim and following his hunches, Craven sets about finding Emma's killer and there's something just not quite right about that Globex Corp on the hill...

Oops did we say Globex? No, we mean Northmoor, although it's easy to see why you might confuse the two. Northmoor is an unintentional (we're assuming) parody of the Hank Scorpio-led Globex corp in The Simpsons. In Edge of Darkness, questionable CEO Jack Bennett welcomes Craven into his layer like the nobel man welcomes his guest... Scorpio! Sorry, couldn't resist.

Edge of Darkness is essentially a parody of a parody. The Simpsons parodied James Bond, and Edge of Darkness parodies The Simpsons. It's of little surprise to learn that director Martin Campbell also directed Golden Eye and Casino Royale. The film ticks some of thriller boxes: meeting in underground car park scene - check!, snappy one liners e.g. "welcome to hell" - also check!, but for the most part is comedic - a Sony laptop turns on in seconds!

Worth seeing to hear Mel Gibson say "Give me the skinny" alone. Oh, and he loves german beeeeeeerrrrrrrrr!

Talulah Does the Hula Interview - State.ie

Before hibernating to record their next single, Talulah Does the Hula bring their upbeat vinyl to this month’s State Social for a special DJ set. We spoke with the band ahead of the set to suss out what to expect and to put to bed mounting speculation over whether the band’s male member would bring some of his shit-house/shit-funk. All is revealed below, so read on dear reader.

What are you expecting from the State Social?

JESSIE: DJing is a guilty pleasure of mine and it’s even better when you’re doing it with mates so I’m really looking forward to it. Should be a bit of fun, you guys might have trouble removing us.

MICHAEL: State Social? It sounds like a soiree that government officials would attend, so hopefully it’ll be like that. With break-dancing.

What should we expect from you guys?

JESSIE: Most of our new tracks are sounding really disco-tastic these days, so that might be a sign of current influences.

MICHAEL: Expect nothing and you are bound to be pleased/break-dancing.

What kind of music will you playing?

JESSIE: Considering we’ll only be spinning vinyl, more than likely some upbeat stuff circa 60’s, 70’s and 80’s.

What is your style of DJing?

MICHAEL: I still have vinyl decks from when I was younger. I went through a phase of DJing at mates parties because we couldn’t get in anywhere. I’ve still got all the records; they range from shit-house to shit-funk. Needless to say, I won’t be bringing them along.

JESSIE: Definitely a “Can’t Mix Won’t Mix” type of DJ, mixing is for douchebags. I DJed for years before the band stuff kicked in, it’s all dried up lately though. Wanna gimme a job?

Can you give us any teasers of potential playlist?

PAULA: Love ‘A House Is Not A Motel’, James Fountain ‘7 Day Lover’, Plastiscines ‘Bitch’, Jonathan Richman ‘New England’.

What are your guaranteed floor fillers?

PAULA: Womack & Womack ‘Teardrops’.

JESSIE: It’s hard to go wrong with Toni Basil’s ‘Hey Mickey’.

No-one’s dancing – what’s the plan?

PAULA: Mike will breakdance. That’s not even a joke.

Ever cleared a dancefloor?

PAULA: Myself and Ceeva DJed at Antics one night. Ceeva put on a particularly downtempo Adam Green song and went to the toilet, leaving me with 50 teenagers staring blankly at me. Then they all promptly legged it for a smoke. Understandably so.

MICHAEL: Every night.

Any tracks you’d never ever play?

PAULA: Lady GaGa. I don’t get it. I mean she looks great, but you may as well be listening to Cascada or something.

Since you’re supporting Power of Dreams soon, will you be sneaking in any 90s choons?

PAULA: Maybe a bit of 90s Britpop… Yeah, I’m really looking forward to that gig. I was a big fan when I was in school. None of the rest of the band have a clue who they are though, which is the funny thing. Ceeva was too young I think, and the rest of the band didn’t grow up in Ireland.

Any songs to bring out the zombie romantics?

PAULA: Right Said Fred ‘Im too Sexy’. That’s what you meant, right?

Sure. What is the most embarrassing record in your collections? Assuming it’s not Right Said Fred…

JESSIE: Our band has a high threshold for shame, so there’s probably nothing we’d get embarrassed about.

Guilty pleasures?

PAULA: Girls Aloud, La Roux, Rogers & Hammerstein.

Most pretentious record you own?

PAULA: For some reason, I always put on this John Coltrane record when I’m having people over. Which in itself isn’t that pretentious, but it seems like it, especially when the next record that goes on will probably be Girls Aloud.

First single and album you ever bought?

PAULA: Single – Frankie Goes To Hollywood ‘Power of Love’. Album – Five Star, Between The Lines.

JESSIE: My first Cassingle was Iggy Pop ‘Candy’. It’s hard to know my first album as my Mom had a fabulous record collection in the 80s that I have since acquired.

If State readers comment below with requests, would you consider ‘em?

PAULA: No. We only get an hour. Stop hogging our glory.

The State Social #2 takes place on Wednesday, 24 February, Downstairs at Shebeen Chic, 4 South Great George’s Street, Dublin 2. Featuring DJ sets from Talulah does the hula, Phil Udell and Loreana Rushe. And breakdancing from Michael. From 9pm. Free entry.

Cobra Starship - Hot Mess, Album Review

To be fair, the lads (and lass) at Cobra Starship lay their cards on the table from the outset. With purple bubble writing on the album case reading ‘Pete Wentz is the Only Reason We’re Famous’, it’s safe to assume they don’t take themselves too seriously. And why would they? Hot Mess is an album about being bad and partying. Hard.

A first listen to Hot Mess induced a ‘cringe’ face, not seen here since Wentz’s wifey Ashlee Simpson, hillbilly danced on Saturday Night Mime, er, we mean Live. Some lyric samples; ‘I treat her bad, she loves me good’ and ‘We were hanging in your basement eating pills and falling in love’- now imagine these coupled with cheerleader chants, keytar synths, cock rock solos and vocodered vocals. You get the idea.

It wouldn’t be unreasonable to expect to hear Cobra Starship accompanying a house party/overdose scene in Channel Four’s ‘Skins’ some time soon. Or they might pop up in Gossip Girl, since Leighton Meester who plays Blair, pops up for guest vocals on ‘Good Girls Go Bad’. With Wentz’s Fall Out Boy reportedly on permanent hiatus, Cobra Starship could easily fill the dead emo space left by the band. They are pretty similar, only with added synths and tongue in cheek. Lying somewhere between Gossip and !!! lie this glorified tribute act. Hot Mess should be taken at face value. It is fashion and it’s fun, but equally its sequined neon splendour seems forced. Expect them to be big on Spin 1038.

Milano - Restaurant Review

After receiving a link to a ‘too good to believe’ coupon, giving two mains for €15 at any Milano, a visit to the Dún Laoghaire branch was swiftly arranged. Arriving with a companion on a Thursday afternoon, the restaurant on Harbour Square was quiet enough with only one family and a few other couples dotted around the room.

Thankfully, we weren’t seated right up next to another table to make the room appear busier from the outside, a tactic that makes for an uncomfortable dining experience. Rather, we were seated alone at a small table and before coats were off were asked for beverage requests. Ordering a glass of the house white (a pinot grigio €6.35) and a Coca-Cola (€3.05), we perused the menu. I settled on the Tricolore to start (€7.50), a thin rosemary dough topped with buffalo mozzarella, guacamole and roasted tomatoes, while my companion ordered bruschetta (€6.35).

The Tricolore is part of the new Francesco Mazzei menu which is advertised with mouth watering images in a booklet on each table. The intro arrived on a slate tile with a pizza cutter, while the dough was crisp and flavoursome and the guacamole perfect, the mozzarella was piled high and tasteless. My companion was let down by the bruschetta, announcing ‘I wasn’t expecting a boat of bruschetta’, the plate hosted a large mound of dough swimming in oil and topped with both red onion and seasoned tomatoes. The Moby Dick of bruschetta was tasty, although quite filling for a starter.

The mains arrived perfectly timed from the starter, we both opted for pizza. I, the American Hot (pepperoni and jalapeno peppers) and my companion, the Il Padrino (torn chicken breast, char grilled Italian vegetables and roast tomatoes) - two mains for €15. The American Hot was plentiful of pepperoni but very scant on jalapenos, my companion certainly made the better decision - the Il Padrino was sublime, the chicken juicy and the vegetables cooked firm, not mushy.

We finished things off with a giant Toffee Fudge Glory (€6.95) and two scoops of Gelato, one flavourful pistachio and one pod heavy vanilla (€4.85). The total bill of €50.50 was delivered by our attentive and

efficient waiter. Although the final bill ended up being more than we expected on our 'bargain' meal, we can attribute that to our greed, but considering we both had 3 courses and a drink, €50 was good value.

The two mains for €15 offer is available any day (bar Saturdays and Valentine’s Day) until March 7th 2010 - get your voucher here. But seriously, who would pull out a coupon on Valentine's anyway?

Milano, Harbour Square, Crofton Road, Dun Laoghaire, Co. Dublin. Tel: 01 633 7640

Welcome to Dumpsville

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, we hit the streets of Dublin to hear some the capital's worst dumping stories...


Neil Caffrey, Blanchardstown
I once texted an ex after a romantic weekend together to say I loved him. The text back read 'Sorry, I'm just not interested'.

Stephen Stewart, Malahide
When I was 17, I went down to Malahide beach to meet my mates. My girlfriend was there kissing some other guy.

Constantin Popa, Romania
She sent her mother to tell me. So, I asked her mother out for coffee. She said no.

Laura Curry, Glasnevin
I just left the country. The hardest bit was saying goodbye to his cat.

Jenny Kilday, New Zealand
Breaking up with my first love was the worst. I was still in love with him.

Sarah Meyler, Terenure
One of my friends got a text that said, ' I was going with the flow but the flow just stopped.'

Christina Daly, Stepaside
I dumped a boyfriend over the phone because he was too clingy. He said it was the cruelest thing I could've done, but I had been tempted to just text him.

Sylvia McArdle, South Circular Road
I brought him to the cinema, whispered in his ear... and left.

Luke Collins, Bray
The best way is to score someone else in front of them.

Alexander Jones, Clontarf
I called my ex 'ugly' and watched her walk away.

Hazel Boundy, London
I've been married for 40 years, so I'm not really qualified to answer that one!

Deirdre Flynn, Rathfarnam
I texted my friend bad things about guy I had a date with. Only I sent it to him by mistake.

Joern Huelsmeier, Harolds Cross
I've been dumped by email. It's not too bad as you don't have to respond right away.

Selenge McClave, Phibsboro
I faked my address on the walk home after a date. He couldn't find me again.

Tom Kilroy - Before the Critics

Playwright Tom Kilroy tells up about Christ Deliver Us!, a play inspired by a 19th-century German tragedy that tackles abortion, rape and suicide, and which gets its world premiere at the Abbey this month.

What did you take from Frank Wedekind's 'Spring Awakening'?

It started out as a straight adaptation, but as I went on it moved further and further away from the original and eventually become an Irish play rather than a German play. The central story is about teenagers in a very repressed society, and I reset in Ireland in the 1950s, my own schooldays.

When did you write it?

I finished writing it during these rehearsals. I was still writing when we were rehearsing. it was originally written six or seven years ago but I went back to it again. I think I improved it.

How are rehearsals going?

They're going very well. I like to leave the actors alone and stay away from the rehearsal room while they are trying to work it out creatively themselves. I think it gives them freedom. It's a chance for me to work with young people, We have a brilliant young director, Wayne Jordan and some wonderfully talented young actors, boys and girls. That's been a great pleasure for me.

Tell us about the main characters.

Mossie and Michael are buddies, Michael gets involved with Winnie and they have a relationship, so it's a love story as well as everything else. Although it's a tragic love story. Mossie is one of these characters who's very vunerable, sensitive and troubled with a very unhappy family background. So the story is essentially the three of them.


The play has been tagged as highlighting the hypocrisy of a society under the thumb of the Church...

It's a play that was written before the Murphy report, but I see it as a play behind the clerical scandals. It's not about sex abuse, it's a play that deals more with physical abuse. There was a great deal of physical abuse in schools when I was growing up, so it has that. It's about the hypocrisy of church and state in dealing with young people.

And you've written a play about William Blake?
Yes, I've written it, but it hasn't been produced. It's a difficult play to do, again it's a large scale play. It's about his relationship to his wife, she was a remarkable life. She was an illiterate person but she understood this strange man that she was married to. It's about their relationship more than anything else.

'Spring Awakening' was made into a musical, any plans yourself?

Ha ha! Musicals? Well I don't know about that. Spring Awakening was a rock musical, I didn't see the musical version but I know about it, and it's very successful apparently.

Christ Deliver Us runs at the Abbey Theatre, Abbey Street, Dublin 1 from February 16 - 13 March.€38/€28, abbeytheatre.ie

Precious - Film Review

With exec producer Oprah Winfrey at the helm of the publicity drive, potential audiences for Precious might expect O-style subject treatment - downtrodden people overcoming stuff, redemption, spirituality. The trailer only adds fuel to these expectations. But there's no self-affirmation or inspirational positivity to be found here. The truth is, it's bleak. Really bleak.

The film opens on an unruly classroom in Harlem 1987, at the back sits poker-faced Claireece Precious Jones. With a glazed expression Precious reveals little to the world around her but we are afforded access to her thoughts via voiceover. Between daydream and reality, we soon learn that our hero is sixteen, pregnant for the second time (by her father) and now, suspended from school.

Aswe are given snapshot of her homelife -cats, grease, abusive mother, - we get an insight to the litany of physical and emotional abuse that Precious is subjected to. Fantasising a new life, Precious attends an 'alternative' school to help her illiteracy and attempts to build a support system around herself.

The film's story obviously has emotional appeal, but it refuses to take the easy road and pull on the heart strings with guaranteed tear jerker cliches, as you might expect. The trailer sets you up for a film of slow motion and montages, but this is not the case, and aside from one or two comments from teacher Blu Rain, Precious is neither preachy or patronising.

Its grim social realism is broken only with short bursts of fantasy, which can be jarring but thankfully become less frequent as the film progresses. This conflict of genre is a bold move by director Lee Daniels who has taken several risks with Precious. In terms of talent, the mix of newcomers, typecast and slated actors seems like a move destined for failure but it somehow works.

Gabourey Sidibe makes her debut as our hero with a low key performance that is restrained and pitch perfect. Elsewhere, it's easy to see why M'oNique won the Best Supporting Actress gong at the Golden Globes for her powerful portrayal of Precious' mother Mary, a surprising turn from the actress better known for her sitcom roles. The casting divas Mariah Carey and Lenny Kravitz was a gamble that paid off with understated but strong displays from both.

For the most part Precious makes uncomfortable viewing, but it is genuine and surprising. Just don't see it if you're feeling a bit blue.

Dublin, 1961

Armed with a Ford Zephyr, a Contax II camera and his wife Jean, amateur photographer and businessman Charles W. Cushman chronicled Americana in vivid colour from the 1930s to the 1960s. Travelling the length and breath of U.S., Cushman witnessed and captured key changes in the modern age. His images of abandoned buildings in former mining towns, Texas cotton farms and crowded ghetto streets formed a visual slide show of mid-century history and society. In the sixties the couple began travelling to Europe and in June 1961, the Cushmans arrived in Dublin.

At the time Elvis Presley and Del Shannon topped the pop charts and The Capitol Showband toured America during lent season, when the Irish ballrooms closed. Cinema goers in Ireland saw 'The Misfits', 'Victim' and 'Whistle Down the Wind' in one of the fifty cinemas of Dublin city and its suburbs. 1961 also saw John F. Kennedy become president of the United States, Ireland applied for full membership of the EEC and Telifis Eireann launched at the end of 1961 with an opening address on New Years Eve from Eamonn De Valera. This was the period captured by Cushman's Contax II.

Although little is known of intricacies of the Cushmans' visit, we know they arrived on a British European Airways flight and visited Arklow, Drogheda, Dalkey, Glendalough and Avoca. However the bulk of Cushman's photographs focused on Dublin's city centre, particularly College Green, Dame St, O'Connell Brige, Dublin Castle, South Great George's St and the spectacular views from room 519 in the Shelbourne.

The pictures printed across these pages show a very different Dublin from what we know today. From a motorist's point of view, you could drive down Grafton Street, you could nestle your Morris Minor or Austin Devon up beside Henry Grattan on College Green and your Ford Prefect or Austin A40 next to Daniel O'Connell on O'Connell St. Clampers weren't even a twinkle in their mothers' eyes.

As a cyclist you wouldn't have to worry about being clipped by a car if you were riding inside this swarm of beige on Dame St. Over on Georges St, it looks like little has changed at The Long Hall while the red and white flags hoisted outside Cassidy's celebrated the visit of Prince Rainer & Princess Grace of Monaco. The royals' visit caused chaos as an estimated 30,000 people took to O'Connell street to try get a glimpse of the couple, who attended a ball in the Gresham Hotel on the 12th June. It was the beginning of an exciting decade which saw many other famous visitors to Ireland including Bing Crosby, Louis Armstrong, The Rolling Stones, Jayne Mansfield and The Beatles. Sadly, Cushman himself never returned.

See the entire Cushman collection at: dlib.indiana.edu/collections/cushman

The Dubliner's Top Ten - Alarm Clocks

1. Star Wars R2-D2

As far as robots go, C-3PO ranks up there with the most annnoying. Imagine waking up to, 'R2, you shouldn't be so polite,this little rebel is going to be late.' Nag nag nag. So it comes of little surprise to learn that C-3PO has never had a solo career in the alarm clock industry. R2D2's, on the other hand, is going from strength to strength. It began with the 1977 original C3PO and R2D2 alarm clock duo, but R2 later ditched the dead weight for a collect-the-labels promotion with 7UP in the nineties. Argos are selling this similar model, although bigger and with clearer projection for €34.84.
Argos, Parnell Mall, The Ilac Centre, Dublin 1.

2. Clapperboard Clock

Ever wake up feeling like Tom Cruise? Nah, us neither. It's at least 11am before we start talking to bottles and jumping up and down on the sofa. But with this clapperboard alarm clock you can feel like movie star every day. The LCD clock wakes you up with an alarm that can only be silenced with a swift snap of the clapper – shrill yelling of “action!” is optional, but recommended. You'll be out of bed before you can say, “I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille.” €49
B Cool Gadgets, Unit G15A, The Pavillions Shopping Centre, Swords, Dublin. 8075742.

3. JML Colour Touch

If forever-in-our-hearts 'Changing Rooms' (RIP) taught us anything, its that accessories are a handy way to bring character to any blank room. Team JML were also listening and the proof is in their new Colour Touch alarm clock (€5). The two leading features are in the name - it can change colour and it turns off if you touch any part of it. But it doesn't stop there; there is also a calendar function, temperature display and a countdown timer. It's being sold as the everyman clock. The ad shows two children gleefully pouring over it in a tent as Mr JML tells us, 'Even the kids can take their clock on their little adventures!' Chuck out that DS then.
Heatons, 200 The Park, Carrickmines, Dublin 18. 2943160.

4. Clocky the Runaway

'Toys for Big Boys' listed this renegade wheelie clock as one of their 'Top Ten Essential Gadgets' late last year. On a list that also included the Slanket, it's no mean feat. Clocky is a runaway alarm clock that puts an end to multi-snoozing. You can set yourself to a limit of snoozes from 0 – 9 minutes, depending on how your self discipline is - or how optimistic you're still feeling about 'the new you' post-new year. Clocky will jump up off your nightstand and run away beeping and booping droid-like until you get up. The manufacturers claim Clocky can jump 3 feet, which means in animal terms Clocky is an armadillo.
www.pressieport.ie €49.99

5. Dekad

Ikea don't give us a nostalgic spiel about the timelessness of the Dekad clock or the romance of rituals. They just lay out the facts. Swedish style. They point out it's 'good to know' the clock should be wound every 24 hours. The clock frame is steel, the face is paper, the backing is plastic, the front is glass and the handle is aluminium with a powder coating. That's all you need to know really, oh and it's pretty. €4.99
IKEA, Margaret's Road, Ballymun, Dublin 11. 1890 987 938.

6. BeoTime

BeoTime is the Bang & Olufsen alarm clock that is visually more like a futuristic wand. Designer Steffen Schmelling was apparently inspired by Mozart's The Magic Flute and the conflict between light and dark within it. You can choose to wake up to the BeoTime Chime, radio station or piece of music – whether that's Mozart or Miley Cyrus. The best bit is you can use the flute/wand/clock to control other Bang & Olufsen appliances like the TV, loudspeaker or lights. Although, this assumes you have a gaff full of expensive B&O a/v equipment. You can't play it like a flute though.
Bang & Olufsen, 6 Bachelors Walk, Dublin 1. 2602404.

7. iPod Dock

We couldn’t make a top ten alarm clock list without including an iPod docker. You can get thousands of pointless iPod compatible accessories these days, including the iStethoscope, iBreathalyzer and iTable, but an iPod alarm docker is actually useful. This Gear 4 CRG-70W has a compact minimalist design with detachable speakers which can be positioned around the room or in the base tray. It will charge an iPod or an iPhone and gives you the option to wake up the iPod, radio or a buzzer. We don’t recommend leaving ‘Time’ by Pink Floyd to prompt you out of bed. €59.99

HMV, 65 Grafton Street, Dublin 2. 6795334.

8. Pink Floyd Twin Bell

You can’t call Pink Floyd sell outs for bringing out an alarm clock. After all, their homage to time on Dark Side of the Moon called er, ‘Time’ gave antique alarm clocks a significant airing in its lengthy introduction. This little beauty is a classic twin bell with quartz accuracy, the face picture is the lake postcard that came as an insert with the album ‘Wish You Were Here’. Floyd fans might prefer to wake up to an actual song but when you consider the lyrics of Time which include “one day closer to death, every year is getting shorter”, it’s probably best you don’t start your day in complete despair. Also avail in Led Zeppelin. €24.99

Asha Boutique, 212, St Stephens Green, Shopping Centre, Dublin 2. 4781396.

9. Sony ICF-C205

This is the alarm clock we imagine Zac Morris would’ve used. Ok so the ‘Saved by the Bell’ theme tune doesn’t sell it very well, he did miss the bus after all. But we reckon it was because he spent too much time giving himself ‘a look’, so it wasn’t the alarm’s fault. This Sony ICF-C205 is retro in a seemingly unconscious way. It boasts an FM/AM analogue tuner, 0.7 inch green LCD, a single alarm and a sleep timer. There’s no bells and whistles here (excuse the pun) but it’ll wake you up with the radio. Maybe even in time to do ‘the sprain’ with Lisa Turtle. €19.99

Peats World of Electronics, 25 Parnell Street, Dublin 1. 8727799.

10. Disney Princess Glow Time

Who better to persuade little girls to go to bed than Sleeping Beauty? This alarm clock is a nice alternative to a poisoned apple. The face changes between day and night according to when you set the sleep and wake alarms - Sleeping Beauty represents night naturally, and Cindarella represents day. Go Glow’s aim is to help form a sleep routine and this is really its only function. It is not an education tool to help learn the time - it doesn’t even have a minute hand. But it might buy you a few more minutes in bed. €23

Hamleys Toys, Pembroke District :: Level 1 Unit 51, Dundrum Shopping Centre, Dublin 14. 2924900.