A basement office lit by fluorescent bulbs seemed like an inappropriate venue to road test a MarvinGaye album. Commonly linked to songs for sexy times in Valentine's day polls, I assumed it was for some sort of topical tie-in. An assumption quickly dismissed when I was handed 'What's Going On'.
The opening title track set me straight, talk of pickets lines and picket signs situates the album immediately in its social/political concept, as it explores poverty, war and prayer.
Although released by Motown Records it doesn't fit the usual Motown mould, what with it being a conceptual album with social commentary and all. Liberal use of flute, jazz piano and soft strings in 'Right On' makes it the stand out track, clocking in an epic seven and a half minutes.
But as Marv says himself in the sleeve notes: "[i]f you like the artist well enough to buy his or her album, you don't have to be told how groovy it is, or which tunes you should dig, or how great his or her majesty is."
Not recommended for seduction. Unless you're trying to seduce a hippie.
We've all been there. Pressing your back against the closest wall to your web endowed neighbours, about the peruse the delights of thedubliner.ie only to be blocked by the words 'Security Enabled Network'. The jerks had finally cottoned on. What to do? As the saying goes there's no such thing as a free lunch, but there is such a thing as free internet access, read on as The Dubliner shares the best Wi-Fit mooching spots in the city.
1. Dylan Bar in The Dylan, Eastmoreland Place, Dublin 4.
If you're looking for five star treatment with free Wi-Fi, look no further. Despite its hyper modernity, the Dylan bar is deceptively comfortable and for those needing quiet time, it's relatively kiddie free. As of last month, the new bar menu offers soup of the day for €5.95. Disclaimer: By 'five star' we mean luxury, not the flamboyant brother and sister singing group best known for their 1986 hit 'System Addict'. The Dylan Bar, Eastmoreland Place, Dublin. 6603000, dylan.ie
2. The Market Bar, Fade St, Dublin 2.
This old sausage factory is now best known for its tapas, but the real USP of The Market Bar for Wi-Fi moochers is that it offers a heated and covered beer garden. Admittedly it's more of a beer cavern, but it means you can eat tapas, have a smoke and use your dry laptop to go online. Result. Tapas plates start at €8 and the outdoor tables are relatively wobble free. The Market Bar, 14 Fade Street, Dublin 2. 6139094, marketbar.ie
3. McDonalds, Lower O'Connell Street, Dublin 1.
Alongside Grafton street, this little eaterie was one of the first McDonalds to open in Ireland back in 1977. Now open 24 hours, this branch also houses a McCafe following refurbishments that saw the gaudy cream and pinks being replaced by dark wood and fast broadband. With the Euro Saver menu expanding to include €2 coffee and €1 hamburgers, one question still baffles, does anyone have the apple bags instead of fries? Anyone? McDonalds Restuarant, 50 to 51 Lower O'Connell Street, Dublin 1. 8720050, mcdonalds.ie
4. Green Nineteen Cafe, Camden Street, Dublin 2.
Shepard Fairey's stencil portrait of Obama, that's the 'Hope' poster to you and me, greets visitors to this Camden Street caff. It's a pretty ambitious first impression, but the attention to detail in all aspects of Green Nineteen just saves it. The wide tables can fit laptop and a lunch comfortably and the Soup of the Day comes in at €4. We also like that the menu points out Tap Water cost €0. Green Nineteen Cafe, 19 Lower Camden Street, Dublin 2. 478 9626, green19.ie
5. Stir Cafe in the Maldron Hotel, Smithfield, Dublin 7.
Smithfield Plaza is surprisingly scant for free Wi-Fi opportunities. But through extensive research and common sense we have learned, where there is a hotel, there is generally free Wi-Fi. Smithfield's Maldron hotel houses the Stir Cafe & Bar, although the decor is a bit clinical and the atmosphere formal, the Wi-Fi is reliable and speedy. Soup of the Day €4.90 or soup and any sandwich for €6.99. Maldron Hotel, Smithfield, Dublin 7. 485 0900, maldronhotels.com
6. Insomnia, IFSC, Dublin 1.
All Insomnia cafes with the flying cup logo above the doorway provide free Wi-Fi for customers, we like this one for simultaneously web browsing and people watching. Nearby neighbours Starbucks have a card systems for internet access but it's instant connection in Insomnia. Hosted by Eircom, you won't be able to access piratebay.org but you can console yourself with their famous Lily O'Brien's Hot Chocolate (€3.10). Insomnia, IFSC, Dublin 1. 6720320, insomnia.ie
7. Bia Bar, Lower Stephen Street, Dublin 2.
Bia Bar does food as the name suggests, but it also does free Wi-Fi as the name does not suggest. A lunchtime visit sees some solitary suits eating lunch and few laptops lingering about. Noticeably and most interestingly, there is a couple having 'the talk'. It seems like a good venue for it, quiet but not too quiet, discreet and without harsh lighting. If you're feeling particularly callous, you could use the Wi-Fi and dump them on Facebook. Soup of the Day €3.95. Bia Bar, 28-30 Lower Stephen Street, DUBLIN 2. 4053653, biabar.ie
8. Cafe Bar in The Morrison, Ormond Quay, Dublin 1.
Paul McCartney might not approve, but the leather couches and armchairs in the Cafe Bar are worth the visit alone. With plenty of natural light, you won't do your eyes too much damage and if you look past your laptop the view of the Liffey can be soothing. The Dubliner's patented 'Soup of the Day' index, sees it come in a hefty €6.95, but remember those chairs. Lower Ormond Quay, Dublin 1. 8872400, morrisonhotel.ie
Sipping on the crispest cider we’ve ever had, Connected joined an almost empty venue in the Olympia just as the warm up act took to the stage.
Support came from the sharply dressed Dublin outfit The Chakras, who showcased some raspy indie lifted from their forthcoming album. It was received well enough to pull the masses out of the bar and in front of the stage. Result. Throughout the set, the theatrical front man gained confidence as the band finished up with their album title track ‘Build me a Swan’.
After a quick stage shuffle, the lights dimmed and the crowd started chanting in anticipation. Iannoooo! Ianonooo! Iannooo! Iannooo! After a short while, swaggering on stage in shades came the aforementioned Iannooo who promptly launched into ‘Love Like a Fountain’. Mayhem.
Sparring and shaking his tambourine, using every inch of the stage, Brown charmed the crowd up with favourites ‘All Ablaze’, ‘Longsight M13’ and ‘Keep What You Got’. Although Brown is often criticised for the ‘weakness’ of his vocals, he is undoubtedly a first class performer and his live band are tight and versatile. After easing us in with the favourites, Brown and band then worked through tracks from his sixth solo album. ‘Stellify’, ‘Just Like You’ and ‘Own Brain’ made appearances, accompanied by himself on harmonica.
Audience banter was short and sweet, but he did say (to a predominantly male crowd) that the best thing about Dublin was the ladies. Before quickly adding the men aren’t bad either. Good save.
It was back to the classics as Brown broke into ‘Sister Rose’, although accompanying strings were courtesy of a laptop, which wasn’t ideal. A bongo solo followed by the mysterious and moustachioed man in the turban, before ‘Marathon Man’ and of course, ‘F.E.A.R’ which closed the set.
The pause before the encore fuelled speculation. What could he pull out of the bag? He’d all ready used up ‘F.E.A.R.’ He wouldn’t…. Would he? Sauntering back on stage, the famous bass line and beat that heralded ‘Fools Gold’ saw the place erupt. The pit was heaving. This was how it’s meant to be. Cider, dancing and ‘Fools Gold’. We felt young again.
The crowd celebrated afterwards by collectively singing ‘Ole Ole Ole’ on the way out and invaded Brogans en masse. Happy days.
It’s Ireland’s most popular fetish website. It’s a place to imagine and fantasise. It’s a portal to live vicariously through. No, not that one your filth bag, we’re talkin’ about Daft.ie.
Countless man hours have been sucked into this virtual vortex. It’s more addictive than any social networking site. Forget Facebook, toss Twitter and move over MySpace, scrolling through the endless possibilities on Daft.ie is far more satisfying than stalking any person.
How many people do you know have a new sofa, ample parking space, three TV points and Neff kitchen appliances? Zero? That’s what we thought. And you don’t feel like a creep perving over Daft. Mostly.
The site itself claims that 85 million pages on it are visited each month – seemingly an outlandish statement but even if this statistic isn’t entirely accurate, it does give us some indication of the extent of Daft addiction.
As a largely unspoken taboo, these statistics give weight to the personal stories of the constant refresh, the sweaty palm that holds the phone as ‘the call’ is made. Before the crushing defeat of hearing the words; “I’m sorry but it’s already been leased.” The devastation…
Followed by the anger, the questioning, “Why don’t they take the ad down then?!” The paranoia, “Maybe they just didn’t like the sound of me? The ad is still up...” Acceptance and hope are the next phases, generally accompanied by spotting a new potential home.
There is the sinking feeling that you’re turning into your parents - scoping out similar gaffs in the area, how much they’re going for, what additional features they have and so on. It is inevitable. You can’t fight this, so don’t bother trying.
Even for those with no intention of moving, the site provides a form of escapism and launches so many 'what ifs'. It’s easy to fantasise about living in a cutesy cottage on Long Lane with the soundest of housemates, all beautiful, all successful and preferably all from different countries.
It is the ‘Sharing…’ section that gives the most insight to the human condition and provides the most laughs. Daft has a language of its own but it takes little interpretation to decode it. It’s like personal ads, but with houses.
As a general rule, if your new housemates have to say they’re “nice and friendly”, they’re probably not. If the tenants include this sentence, “we like socialising and there is always a friendly atmosphere in the house”, prepare yourself for all night sessions and finding a puke point in the corner of your room.Two words are guaranteed to elastic band you away from a potential house share. These are: owner occupied. This directly translate as “living with your menopausal mam - again”. Avoid.
On a side note, the only entries worth poring over are the entries with pictures. Who bothers with the ones without photographs and why? Answers to OhFrancis on a SAE please. But that’s assuming you’ll admit to be being a Daft addict.
* Published in Season 1, Issue 4 of Oh Francis www.ohfrancis.com
Hopeful faces lined Hatch Street on Saturday night, anxious to get in to the second night of Orbital’s first indoor Irish gigs since 2001. The news of last minute tickets released this week and stellar reports from the previous night saw an impressive turnout, the resulting outcome saw many of these hopeful faces turn disappointed as Tripod soon reached full capacity.
Connected arrived just after ten bells, quickly dumped our coats in the corner and ducked and dived our way through the mob to the front row. Seemingly half the crowd were stuck in the cloakroom queue, but a heaving horde were still able to welcome the world's most famous head lights on stage as the Hartnoll brothers launched into ‘Impact’.
Phil ‘n’ Paul energetically pumped the crowd and seemed to be enjoying it as much as the fans. Known for their high production aesthetics at gigs, the lads were elevated on a mini stage on the main stage with flowing visuals forming a frame behind.
Team Connected were dubious of the 10pm matinee time slot for the two hour set, but the crowd were already lubed up nicely after the days sport and were brought through Belfast, Chime, Satan, Halcyon and On and On, Bigpipe Style, Lush and One Perfect Sunrise.
The cheeky sampling of pop anthem ‘Heaven is a Place on Earth’ by Belinda Carisle, although established in their sets, met a mixed reception as the tone of the set became lighter. For some it was jarring, but other die hards raved on regardless.
Bodies of all ages pogoed and pointed non-stop until the music reluctantly died and the lights went up. Although my companion voiced irritation at DJs who do encores [“Why not just play through?, she asked], no one was complaining when the head lights returned to the stage for the Alison Goldfrapp stamped, ‘The Box’.
When the final house lights came up with shirts sticking to backs and smiles all around, euphoric fans made their way to the merchandise stand like zombies, anxious to capture the memory in something concrete.
Cardigan-clad Grizzly Bears invade our annual staff picnic, kicking off the month at www.connected.ie with aplomb. Although by neatly squashing our Victoria sponges and knocking over our French lemonade in the process. Dagnamit!
The fearless and moustachioed Dan Ryan valiantly braves the wilderness of Vicar Street to bring you tales of stupefying adventure from the front line of the Brooklyn band’s latest gig. Follow Dr. Ryan’s chronicles in our lovely online review section.
Elsewhere on the review front, Connected stall down to the intimate Orbital gigs in Tripod - epicness guaranteed. Or your money back. Probably. And Gary Numan flies in to educate us in electric pleasure on his Pleasure Principle tour and reports from John Vanderslice, Yngve and Gatsby gigs and more, will be sent down the wire and hastily pasted to connected.ie for your viewing pleasure.
Teenagers in Tokyo, no not porn, but a quick Google search will lead you to that if that’s what you’re after. No not us, thank you very much. Our Teenagers in Tokyo are gothic grungers from Sydney who play the Academy thi month. We’ll be chatting with them before their gig, not to mention Cave Singers and Woods from the Shred Yr Face tours, now in its third year. We know, we know, they grow up so fast.
Get ready for your close up as Connected photographer at large, Sara Devine continues to get snap happy around the pubs and clubs of Dublin town giving us some beautiful shots to adorn our sexy online gallery. You might be there. You might not. Better check just in case. You don’t want the panic of someone innocuous work mate who casually drops “Oh I saw that picture of you on the internet” into convo without batting an eyelid. Leaving your panic stricken face to mentally scan all potentially incriminating scenarios you’ve been in that may or may not have been photographed. Hell you don’t know. How are you meant to remember? Or maybe that’s just us.
Some say spoiling a child is a form of child abuse. Consider yourselves spoilt and abused you brats.
These are just three elements that arts collective Stoke Newington International Airport bring to the Fringe this week, with their shows Ping Pong Pub Quiz (PPPQ),The Lost Pirates and Live Art Speed Date.
Oh! Fringe speaks with one of the collective’s five founders, Greg McLaren and also Captain Porkbelly who heads up The Lost Pirates to find out more.
“How is your Ping Pong on a table that has pints of Guinness to avoid, or whilst being poked by a long stick, or while having to sing?” asks McLaren.
And it turns out I’m not alone. “We have noticed that many people have hidden ping pong skills, but those skills are aggregated by players being asked fiendish questions which they have a limited amount of time to answer - during which they are loosing points for their team”, McLaren explains.
So it’s not as easy as you might think. “We have been practicing like demons and so when you come to play one of us in the Ping Pong final championship-or-death heavyweight match-up, you had better be ready”, he adds.
The consequences and forfeits as a result of loosing are still being defined. McLaren says, “These are still being thought up in our lab. Loosing at Strip-Pong could be pretty bad, or having to endure the horrors of the William Tell Offal Round. But there are some pretty attractive bonuses to be won too.”
Worth taking your chances on so.
The same could be said of Live Art Speed Date, an evening that sees the group creating four minute one-on-one dates for you to experience, incorporating “performance, music and strange spectacle”.
McLaren elaborates on the show, “It's a beast. The concept is simple; each of our contributing artists, performers and comedians create a one on one ‘date`. Some very private, some more public. Some will endeavour to woo you; others want to be wooed by you. Indeed sweet dreams are made of these, while others may be the stuff of nightmares.”
It is grounded in reality then, so we asked how can participants tell if their date is ‘faking it’? He advises, “Look deep into their eyes and tell them you want it for real. Although I don't think any of the daters will fake anything, it has a kind of free-fall feel to it, you just get sucked in to whatever's happening. A well known journalist turned up at Edinburgh's Speed Date and proclaimed it a 'mad house', he stayed all night.”
Stoke Newington International Airport has had its fair share of bad dates too.“Once we tried it on with Heathrow, but she was too big. Gatwick is a stroppy little so-and-so, JFK is ugly, and so hopefully we can hit it off with Dublin, you've got such a lovely runway...”
On that note we move on to The Lost Pirates, claiming to be ‘deadlier than heart disease’, the show is a sort of pre party for ‘International Speak Like a Pirate Day’ which falls on 19th September this year.We know, we know, it rolls around so quickly each year…
The Lost Pirates mark the holiday with celebrations that are theatrical, unusual and set off by pirate shanties, ska, disco and punk.Captain Porkbelly rejects the idea that they are cashing in on the pirate trend, “We are pirates. We are responsible for the explosion in the popularity of pirates.”
With that cleared up, Captain Porkbelly tells us more about the show.We ask, since you’re seeking ‘hot booty’, should we lock up our daughters?
Captain Porkbelly responds, “Yes! [pause] No. I mean ‘no’. Bring them to the show. Damn is it too late to take back the 'yes`?
Yes it is. “I'd just stand back if I were you. Don't want to damage the locks. Pirates have always held a romantic place in the hearts of wenches and men of a curly persuasion”, he says.
As a concept gig, The Lost Pirates features original compositions, “We wrote every last note of it, almost. When we're not maintaining ramming speed or preparing to board, us Pirates love little more than a good dance and that is all we's demanding from our fans. To which end our show is hand crafted disco gold. We take the finest cuts of Ska, Funk, Sea shanty, and Klezma and boil it in the fine oil of disco.”
Sounds delicious. On that note Captain Porkbelly asks, “Is that it then? Can I go? I’ve got a ham cooking.”
And with that, Captain Porkbelly followed a star towards the morning.
*Published in Issue 10 of Oh! Fringe, September 2009
